 Wife Jokes
A man placed an ad in the classifieds: "Wife wanted." The next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same: "You can have mine."
A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it since the thief was spending much less than his wife did.
Young Son: Is it true, Dad, that in some parts of Africa, a Man doesn't know his wife until he marries her? Dad: That happens in every country, son.
My wife dresses to kill. She also cooks the same way.
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
I bought my wife a new car. She called and said, "There was water in the carburetor." I asked her, "Where's the car?" She replied, "In the lake."
The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was a fool when I married you." The husband replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice."
When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months - I don't like to interrupt her.
My girlfriend told me I should be more affectionate. So I got myself two girlfriends.
Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished.
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
It's not true that married men live longer than single men. It only seems longer.
Losing a wife can be very hard. In my case, it was almost impossible.
Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once | 
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