Auntie's comments:-
Don't give up hope gals! There are wonderful guys who take relationships S-E-R-I-O-U-S-L-Y and stay committed in their marriages. Thing is, marriage needs BOTH parties to work. Nowadays, women more liberal - not so willing to be submissive as olden days. Gals are better educated so expect equality in marriage. But for the guys, they still hope for wives who can cook, clean the house, do laundry, take care of kids AND be good listeners AND also good in bed.
Tough call for the gals as the idea of being maid/companion/mother/lover in a marriage seems really unfair as some guys also expect their wives to work and chip into the household expenses. Sigh...times have really changed.
My marriage works because of COMPROMISE. I do housework as and when I like it (except laundry lah...must have clothes to wear mah), cook as and when I like and my home is MINE to decorate or make a mess of. Hehehe. I am a good listener BUT I am allowed to give my point of view as well. As to bringing up children, I have the bigger say. Now..as to bed partner...*blush blush* -
So, as you can see, marriages CAN work if expectations are lowered. I emphasized this to my 2nd daughter who is getting married soon. The key words are GIVE and TAKE.
Many marriages fail because either one party refuses to play their part in making the marriage work. Love is important but passionate love mellows with time and it's the affectionate love that survives. You know lah..the kind of love you will have for a very good buddy. Stick to each other through thick and thin, enjoy each other's company, can talk crock without inhibitions and in spite of character differences, can still tahan all the nonsense.
Too much commercialism has been placed on love, romance and weddings. I reckon if a relationship is prepared for the day-to-day routine of life with injections of spontaneous fun activities both parties wholeheartedly enjoy then marriage isn't such a gloomy prospect, isn't it?
Looking for someone who loves you for who you are (warts and all!) and who shares your determination to make the relationship work with the intention of marriage (long-term commitment) is not that impossible as many would think.
You got to look beyond the facade of a person. Observe their behaviour, not just towards you but to people in general. Have chim discussions on all kinds of issues. You can assess if that guy/gal is the type willing to compromise or not then.
Finally... your life partner must not be an exact replica of who you are (not looks lah, but in interests/character/personality). Hello, you won't like the negative side of you reflected to you day after day, right? The important SHARED beliefs in faith, money matters and respect for each other's right to be an individual supercedes all other superficial criteria in a relationship.
Remember, 'Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder'.......
