special day.. given ring.. but.. - Singapore's Online Community

**whoami_ting** · 12-08-2007, 11:29 AM

yest was our 1st anniversary with my dar..

we had good dinner at Thai Village follow by movie at Gold Class..

he gave me 2 presents at different timings.. one before dinner.. it was a bottle of handmade stars (about 1000 mini ones) and handmade flowers (different colours), i was touched and disappointed.. cos i was somehow expecting a ring.. cos we did go to jewellery shops to see ring.. but it is very contradicting.. see further..

we watched 881.. guys it is a funny and touching show.. a lot of hokkien is used.. before the show start, he popped out a box.. a box which one will recognise it is a ring inside.. he asked the question "will u marry me?" and he put it on my finger.. it was wrong timing.. i missed the about 1st 5 min of the show.. i told him i will tell him after the show.. i wore the ring throughout the show..

after the show, we went to the car.. i removed the ring.. i told him i am not prepared.. deep inside me, it was also something else.. my father is a man who cannot be deal easily.. i saw how my sis went thru.. i also dont wanna rush things as i just found a job.. no savings.. financial unstable as i still have study loan.. etc.. he also dont have much saving.. he actually used credit card to buy the ring.. i am in a dilemma..

love and marriage are supposed to be 2 person's issue.. but now it is more than 2 person cos it involved my father or maybe whole of family.. to them, i just know my dar for a year.. how much can i know in this year.. they are very traditional.. so i fear for the worst..

the ring is with me now.. we are going to change the ring size.. but i am considering if i should wear it after modification.. dar told me that i can wear anytime when i am ready..

i do not know when i will be ready.. i dont wanna miss the chance also..

**icyOrange** · 12-08-2007, 01:36 PM

if ur dar really loves u alot. He will wait till ur ready no matter how long it takes. dont take things too fast, it might not work out well. =)

**zIp-dIsK** · 12-08-2007, 01:37 PM

ar movie at gold class sia.. but watch 881? a bit wasted.. but anyways.back to topic..

not very sure how old r u, but i wuld believe that it's your choice, your decision. because it's ending up u marrying the guy and your father or your mother or anyone else but you. my girlfriend and i is the same too.. her father did not really say anything but her mother totally objects.. but she didn't care she just went out with me and stuffs.

when i asked her . she told me.. next time, if getting married, i'm the one marrying u and not my mother. so well..

overall.. my advice for u iss.. dun let go.. u may never find the same one again... and regret..

but of coz. he is willing to wait for u. as long as you dun cast him aside far away while waiting, u two should not have a problem. 1 day, wear the ring and accept him

**emilkyway** · 12-08-2007, 03:09 PM

hey. just wanna say.. follow your heart.
if both of you know that you're truly made for each other, then go for it, dont miss this chance. i believe your pesistence will make your dad's heart softer

yeah, think abt it. good luck!

huitingsmile · 12-08-2007, 03:24 PM

Gal, Time will prove everything de.. If the both of u de love is strong, no matter wat problems ur two faced, the problems will be solved sooner or later if ur both has the will.. I guess ur parents will slowly accept him de.. And also most impt is follow ur heart lor.. Good luck ah gal.. =) *hugs*

**Steven^_^** · 12-08-2007, 05:56 PM

i agree with what emilky say,follow ur heart and do what u really want.if u r going to choose now just be sure u don't regret it.Wish u happiness gal.

**icecat** · 12-08-2007, 06:22 PM

Ask yourself if you really love him. Is he really the one? Do you feel he is the one. Prove to your father that you 2 really know each other inside out in this 1 year.

**Shyraiiyann** · 12-08-2007, 06:36 PM

How old are u actually?
hehe, its great the question poped, but a pity ur in a state of mess now.

Why not, calm down first, and honestly, ask yourself,
really bcoz of your dad's case?
or
you feel uncomfortable abt wearing the ring, coz ur not ready for marriage/not ready for the whole life commitment?
If your still unsure whether he IS the one for you, maybe its time to think through it yourself..

marriage is a life-time commitment..

**Tormented** · 12-08-2007, 06:37 PM

be sure of urself.. ask urself are u ready..
cant comment much though

**Tormented** · 12-08-2007, 06:38 PM

U will see the light. no worries

**sinned** · 12-08-2007, 06:58 PM

i guess you are doing right thing. I been thru that.. its very taxing to go against your family. I am glad u didnt jump into an agreement. Most gals will. Let time tell.. If he loves you.. 1 yr later.. 5 yr later or even more.. He will still wait for a YES from your mouth.

**whoami_ting** · 12-08-2007, 07:04 PM

i am over mid twenties.. you guys may feel weird of me to think so much of it, that i should have a mind of my own.. but is really difficult for me.. whenever i try to talk to my dad on anything, esp when it touches my emotions.. i will cry for no reason.. prob is the fear of him.. cos of this fear, i had a lot of difficult times trying to communicate with him.. he will always counter attack my emotions, making me hard to convey what i wanna tell him.. i always defeat under him at every round of chat..
i was of this question "who will u save if your father or bf are going to drown in the sea?", no matter how much i am not happy with my father.. i will still wanna save him rather than my bf.. how contradicting i am, right..

**zIp-dIsK** · 12-08-2007, 07:07 PM

a very confusing question.. but now u are given the choice of boifriend and father. think. if you chose your boifriend, is he gonna be the one for you for the rest of your life? or is he just gonna leave you one day. i'm not saying anything . but this is only your first anniversary.

since your boifriend says that he will wait for you. let this be the greatest test between you and your boifriend. during this period , attempt to convince your dad. Dun quarrel with your dad over him or something or dun leave home or something . this will only create a even worst impression on your dad of your boifriend.

i wish you all the best.

simplepris · 12-08-2007, 07:07 PM

well, if u wish to say yes.. (since u sorta know he's going to give u The Ring already.. if u r not keen then u'll probably hint or directly ask him not to waste his money on the ring.. right?)

u can always agree 1st then slowly plan for the wedding together.. planning (for ur case) includes saving up for marriage, convincing ur dad to let u guys marry..

**sgelite** · 12-08-2007, 08:25 PM

First, change the size of the ring:mellow3: with his presence as well.

Then, a heart to heart talk. 1 year is quite short and with your current situation i.e. study loan and your dad, it would be enough to tell you that you still need to work on your r/s. If y b/f is understanding enough he definitely would wait and help out tooour.

Your dad although maybe firm but he meant well. He see things differently and judging from what you have shared, he is very protective for you. Probably becos of yous sister's previous incident which has led him to be more strung up. If you could try and spend a little more casual time with him like weekend grocery shopping, high tea and/or buffets. I am sure with other things to talk about, you will find that the communication barrier becoming lesser. It will help lessen the tension between the both of you too.
:mellow3:

**sgelite** · 12-08-2007, 08:26 PM

Sorry double posting. Anyway good luck.