So who takes care of the kids? - Singapore's Online Community

**sex-on-heels** · 20-06-2007, 10:46 PM

Consider this hypothetical situation.

You and your partner are newly-weds and you have just been blessed with a child. Both you and your partner are ambitious and career-minded people.

But, it is a pre-requisite that someone, either you or your partner has to stay at home to look after the kids, do the housework and cook, and that no external help is to be engaged. No maid, no running to grandparents. And do note that both of you have the SAME earning power, and that sharing of the task is not impossible in this scenario. Just, either you or him/her.

Given it is a MUST thing, who will you expect, or hope, will be the one to be the stay-home mummy or daddy? At least, in your mind (you don't have to voice it out to your partner), who would you silently EXPECT to be the one?

If you a guy, woud you willingly think it is you who should do that, or your wife?

And if you are a girl, would you willingly think it is your calling, or your husband's job?

**silencedreamer** · 20-06-2007, 10:50 PM

i think tt as a female, its still my role to take care of the kids n do the housework lahz.. coz i think only females have the patience to keep everything in the house clean n neat.. (dun shoot me if u think tt's not the case!)
however, i'll expect my husband to appreciate my efforts, n volunteer to clear up after dinner or take care of the child after he comes back from work lahz.. coz i deserve abit of rest also..

shingshing · 20-06-2007, 11:00 PM

I believe nowadays man and woman are equal. Whoever is more capable of cooking, washing clothes, housework should be the one taking care of the kid. So if say wife has never done housechores before, but husband has been helping his mum since young, then logically the choice is husband.

Anyway, whoever is the one that's working outside can also help after work? or during weekends? nowadays, responsibilities should be split and shared between couples. Cannot everything push to wife lei.

Riceballz · 20-06-2007, 11:02 PM

its ok bah.. i think share share each 1 1 wk? o.o if possible xD or all she do wahaha =x

**angelzks** · 21-06-2007, 12:06 AM

couples ought to come to a compromise..
for me, as a woman, i would rather stay back, take a cut on my career to nurture my children before embarking on my career back..

simplepris · 21-06-2007, 12:12 AM

gotta spilt the work fairly loh.. see who's work is more hectic bah.. gotta cooperate!! afterall, the party who need not look after the kids is the one who suffers cos eventually he/she will get less love from the kids loh!

as for myself.. i'll be happy to stay at home.. hee~ paiseh, i'm not ambitious.. and.. personally, i like to watch my kids grow up.. i wanna be there most of the time for them.. cos when they grow up, they will want to start their own family.. then they wont stick to me anymore le..

huitingsmile · 21-06-2007, 12:19 AM

i would be the stay at home de mummy lor.. coz normally kids prefer mommy better to daddy, coz daddy no patience de mah.. somemore gals do hse chores betta mah..

**lonerlost** · 21-06-2007, 12:21 AM

Depends on how the other party feels and the situation.

**vgohyk** · 21-06-2007, 08:47 AM

In my case, I do think it's my responsibilities and I do think that as high as a 99% rating that my BF would want me to stay home to look after the kids in the future when we are married and start a family.

It's not that I'd stay home and just look after the kids but nothing else. I'd probably work at home and keep up to the latest trend and all. When my kids are big enough to look after themselves, I'd then start working. If money permits, I'd love to start on my own biz and so I'd have more time with my children.

It'd pains me to see my children get neglected in the future.. hence, as a Mom, I will really have to plan well and manage the time properly. My hubby will be working hard outside to earn more $, while I stay home be a good Mom + part-time Dad + work.

Heh heh.

**★Yuuko☆** · 21-06-2007, 10:39 AM

I think split the work better.. like alternate days wash clothes/dishes, and while washing clothes/dishes, i go mop the floor or smth.. and the next day he mops the floor and i wash the clothes and dishes.

**escaffe** · 24-06-2007, 09:39 PM

I will willingly watch the kids.

I love kids, so i'd naturally want to spend as much time as possible with them.

But also, i wouldnt want my wife to work, so if i were placed in a scenario whereby both of us have jobs, then we'll talk about it, and i'd naturally request for her to stay home. Kids need their mothers, for reasons other than milk.

But I'm not a fan of a fixed work hours. =D

**YOURLOVER** · 24-06-2007, 10:16 PM

probably both of us. if i ever get married that is.

**ramster** · 24-06-2007, 10:18 PM

for me it will be my wife

i am the kind that thinks that wife should stay home type

anyway, women should be the ones feeding the child and so on wad... thats why they have breast milk... in the past men were the ones out hunting while women stay in the cave look after kids... thats why our genes and mindset are slightly different mah....

women better at knowing a child needs (type of crying) while the men usually not as good... cuz he no need to know how a tiger feels when defending his nest

**astrea** · 25-06-2007, 01:03 AM

i am a woman, given the same earning power (and this includes future earning power), i wouldnt mind staying at home...