vgohyk

Sometimes our words are saying one thing, but our tone is saying another. We are sending double messages to our partner and they will usually interpret our message based on our tone, not the words we used.

This often creates arguements, tension, quarrels.

The questions are:

• How do you think you should control your tone even if you are angry or frustrated?
• How do you think your partner should do or should not do to prevent you from getting provoked?

& also, how far do you agree with the statement above? (:

vgohyk

sad hur.
nobody wanna share.

Artemis86

Dun be sad, sis...

Here i am to the RESCUE! wahhaa


It is true that we tend to send mixed signals to others...the most common one is when bf ask u wats wrong...the girl said "NOthing' in a slightly unhappy tone...den the bf juz take what she said literally and thought NOTHING is wrong.

To ans ur questions...

• How do you think you should control your tone even if you are angry or frustrated?
  
  If u r angry or frustrated, the best way is to excuse yourself from ur partner's presence or count to 10/20 to calm down. Then think carefully how to phase your complaints so that wont offend him much. Maybe its better to write down wat u wan say. LOL
  
  
• How do you think your partner should do or should not do to prevent you from getting provoked?
  
  I think this is two-way de. In order for ur partner not to provoke u, one also has to be careful of one's tone and choice of words. Its better to use "I feel.." statements or comments than keep saying "You are..." to make the comments less offending.
  
  For e.g. "I feel frustrated that we do not talk about where our relationship is heading." rather than "You always avoid talking abt our relationship one!"
  
  Cuz if one uses the latter statement "You always..", ur partner sure be offended & start to defend himself n din bother whether he provoke u or not. But its pretty difficult to watch one's tone & choice of words when one is feeling frustrated, angry or hurt.
  
  Then your body language is also important i tink if its talking face-face, try not to cross ur arms cuz its like u r doing battle with him. lol Try to speak in normal volume, listen to his side of story...and the same for him too. If one of u starts to get worked up, usually the other may follow suit also...so its best that both of u or at least one of u to stay calm.

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