vgohyk

I've been seeing this wonderful woman for about three months. We both want to make it an official boyfriend/girlfriend relationship, and have held off on having sex to avoid complicating our situation. Our problem is that we both have issues from previous relationships that impede us from getting past the "just seeing each other" phase. We talk about our issues quite a bit, but it feels like we're in a rut, and are both scared to take the next step. I'm really not sure what to do at this point. Can you help us?
--Scared To Commit

Dear Scared To Commit,
When you try to protect yourself against future emotional pain, you end up hurting yourself worse. You may not get hurt the way you were trying to avoid, but someone will definitely end up getting hurt, and it's usually you.

Love is learning to trust someone else with your true inner feelings. Yes, they can do things that can cause immense pain, but real love is about trusting them not to. The whole experience, whether it's good or bad, is about learning more about yourself and what you are capable of handling. You grow in ways you wouldn't know were possible because of your involvement in that person's life.

You can try to protect yourself forever, but you aren't doing yourself any favors. Life can't be experienced to its fullest potential when you continually shut the doors its opening for you.

My advice, give it a try. You both have a similar background; maybe that will help you both get past your emotional pain. It's possible that you've both gone through what you did, just so you could be together. If you don't at least give it a try, how will you know?


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Gd point to take note & learnt from: If you don't at least give it a try, how will you know?

. . . view my profile if you want to know more.

violette

yup, no harm trying~ rather than stranded in a sticky situation~ go for it~ u never know it may be the good thing u r waiting for all along~

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aphx8o

trust yourself to tell yourself that without trying you might regret, which is more painful at times compared to a failed r/s. at least you know you tried.

Artemis86

Very good advice...

But what if u take the next step, and still are feeling scared?? Not just scared of being hurt by him/her but also scared that u may mk the wrong choice and that u may not really in love with him/her??

Phew...not an easy choice

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RED.ADEN

not ready then dun try.
ready then try.
must have preparation.
control feelings.
fill urself with other stuff if got hurt.
thats why i dun cry for my boy but he cry for me -.-

Artemis86

Wahz...li hai...

but i agree that the best medicine for hurt is to be occupied..

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xiiaoqingwa

agree!!

mess with the best, die like the rest.

.phoenixity.

yeah! always try!

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Woud you lie with me and just forget the world? ♥


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ms87

open up and give each other a chance ba.You never know if you don't try!Who knows it may turn out to be better than what you think it is.

-It's like poker,you can play your best but you gotta know when to fold your cards and take a rest. And know when to hold your cards/hold your breath and hope that nobody else is stacking the deck/ because i don't need to tell you that life isn't fair,it arbitrarily cuts off your air.-

~*The world can be a lonely place, without the one who puts a smile on your face.*~

zhengong

ya...giv each other a chance...
who knows he/she might be the right 1 for u

XiaoGurlx

ye. no harm trying. =) All The Best.

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Sheng4Eva

hmmm ... just give it a try lor

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FTW