larrenV2.003

One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very
sexy nightie. "Tie me up," she purred, "and you can do anything you want."
So he tied her up and went golfing.

**************************************************

A woman came home, screeching her car into the driveway, and ran into
the house. She slammed the door and shouted at the top of her lungs,
"Honey, pack your bags. I won the lottery!"
The husband said, "Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff or mountain stuff?"

"Doesn't matter," she said. "Just get out and don't come back"

**************************************************

Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the
other is a husband.

**************************************************

A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver's license.

First, of course, he had to take an eye sight test. The optician showed
him a card with the letters:
'C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.'

"Can you read this?" the optician asked.

"Read it?" the Polish guy replied, "I know the guy."

**************************************************
Mother Superior called all the nuns together and said to them,

"I must tell you all something. We have a case of gonorrhea in the
convent."

"Thank God," said an elderly nun at the back. "I'm so tired of chardonnay."

**************************************************
A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband.

Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen.

"Careful," he said, "CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOD!
You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my GOD! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK! Careful . CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!"

The wife stared at him. "What in the world is wrong with you? You think
I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?"

The husband calmly replied, "I just wanted to show you what it feels
like when I'm driving."

Studies is no good for health, the cure for it is to understanding of subject rather than mugging!

If a man be gracious and courteous to strangers, it shows he is a citizen of the world. -Francis Bacon

“If you judge people, you have no time to love them.” -- Mother Teresa

“We think sometimes that poverty is only being hungry, naked and homeless. The poverty of being unwanted, unloved and uncared for is the greatest poverty. -- Mother Teresa

GreenSn0w

lolz..this is soooo damn funny..
cool~.. XD

sometimez it'z really nice to see some good jokes.. ^^

XiaoGurlx

Hahas. Nice!

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[L]iyen

i dUn understAnd thIs, sOmeone explAin? :confused2:

applehearts

WAHAHA!

("v")Apple("v")

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larrenV2.003

becos some polish names end with vic or vich and sometimes a letter z...:biggrin4:

Studies is no good for health, the cure for it is to understanding of subject rather than mugging!

If a man be gracious and courteous to strangers, it shows he is a citizen of the world. -Francis Bacon

“If you judge people, you have no time to love them.” -- Mother Teresa

“We think sometimes that poverty is only being hungry, naked and homeless. The poverty of being unwanted, unloved and uncared for is the greatest poverty. -- Mother Teresa

huitingsmile

haha.. ok.. thats funny.. nice one.. =)

Bear Bear Family Tree Club
Director --- Huiting Aka Smiling Bear Bear

- * She is a gal that loves to see a smiling face on anyone expression - *
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DINEy

A woman came home, screeching her car into the driveway, and ran into
the house. She slammed the door and shouted at the top of her lungs,
"Honey, pack your bags. I won the lottery!"
The husband said, "Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff or mountain stuff?"

"Doesn't matter," she said. "Just get out and don't come back"

LOL nice.
the last one oso!

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noobrulz

A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver's license.

First, of course, he had to take an eye sight test. The optician showed
him a card with the letters:
'C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.'

"Can you read this?" the optician asked.

"Read it?" the Polish guy replied, "I know the guy."

**************************************************
Mother Superior called all the nuns together and said to them,

"I must tell you all something. We have a case of gonorrhea in the
convent."

"Thank God," said an elderly nun at the back. "I'm so tired of chardonnay."

Lols. I don undersstand the whole middle part of the joke.

Join #SGC at GalaxyNet in mIRC ^_^

Technetium

haha i got a diff version, slightly better

"One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very
sexy nightie. "Tie me up," she purred, "and you can do anything you want."
So he tied her up and happily dashed into the maids room."

Technetium is the lightest chemical element with no stable isotope. It has atomic number 43 and is given the symbol Tc. The chemical properties of this silvery grey. Its is used in nuclear medicine for a wide variety of diagnostic test. Also use as an anodic corrosion inhibitor for steel.

Chriz

The last one about the eggs and driving is very good lol.

teriyaki

hhaha i lyk dis one!!! dis show clearly hu hav da authority..

B I G B A N G fanclub-
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djchris

The last one is so funny~...good one!

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Mince