Is this relationship dying ? as its won't last long? - Singapore's Online Community

**BeaR*BeaR** · 27-03-2008, 11:38 AM

Me and my gf been together just recently our 3 Months . But lately its seem that we both are quite busy over our own stuff . As i have to work . and her parents don't let her go out all the time to see me , its just onces per week .

As my work and she have her own life to do with . Its just seem our relationship love . its like drifting apart . I try to sms her , but its seem that its not the same communiate pattern we used to have . And she also knew some new friends . who have more common things to do with , since they knew each other from work . I feel interior over this . and helpless in all ways . But i tried , but its really take two hand to join together .

I don't really know if i can tolerate this any longer. and sometimes i deeply felt that i wanna let her go . And i have also recently argu with my sister . also my working enviroment makes me quite diffcult to breath..its like struggling for me.

My friends told me , be happy and grateful that at least we could meet up onces per week . But my heart wants to see her . Its really hard for me to control this feeling sometimes.

i don't really know what should i really do . She told me , i could be the who will walk to the end with her , and she feels that we won't break up .
yet we both are in different kind of situation.

For now , i feel very tired .. i want her with me , but its kinda impossible..
I did my part for her . And I love her ..All i want now its just a hug from her...

I really wonder if we can go throught all this . I wonder if i can , or maybe in later part i felt we might break up as well ..

**Jawker** · 27-03-2008, 11:50 AM

loving someone means giving all that you have without expecting any in return. that's love for me.

**PiDanBeR** · 27-03-2008, 12:02 PM

Hmm... This relationship isn't 'dying' as the way it is... Perhaps, this is one of the 'problem' along your way of life/love... Face it and overcome it... She believe you both can be together... So don't give up... Time will prove your love for her... If you both really love one another, I believe you can overcome this situation, and perhaps more in future... =)

**BeaR*BeaR** · 27-03-2008, 12:12 PM

My heart its really heavy ..

**rmagnus** · 27-03-2008, 01:21 PM

	Quote:			Originally Posted by *BeaRBeaR**
	Me and my gf been together just recently our 3 Months . But lately its seem that we both are quite busy over our own stuff . As i have to work . and her parents don't let her go out all the time to see me , its just onces per week . As my work and she have her own life to do with . Its just seem our relationship love . its like drifting apart . I try to sms her , but its seem that its not the same communiate pattern we used to have . And she also knew some new friends . who have more common things to do with , since they knew each other from work . I feel interior over this . and helpless in all ways . But i tried , but its really take two hand to join together . I don't really know if i can tolerate this any longer. and sometimes i deeply felt that i wanna let her go . And i have also recently argu with my sister . also my working enviroment makes me quite diffcult to breath..its like struggling for me. My friends told me , be happy and grateful that at least we could meet up onces per week . But my heart wants to see her . Its really hard for me to control this feeling sometimes. i don't really know what should i really do . She told me , i could be the who will walk to the end with her , and she feels that we won't break up . yet we both are in different kind of situation. For now , i feel very tired .. i want her with me , but its kinda impossible.. I did my part for her . And I love her ..All i want now its just a hug from her... I really wonder if we can go throught all this . I wonder if i can , or maybe in later part i felt we might break up as well ..

hmm the problem seems to be with you, would any girl feel secure with you keep feeling inferior? My lady and I have been together for near 3 years and she does not stay in Singapore, I make an effort to fly to see her at least once every 4-6 months. Even you said it takes two hands to clap, instead of wallowing in selfpity why not do something for her?

**myzticalz** · 27-03-2008, 01:28 PM

hey, dont feel down..

my bf and i went through the same stage.. when we were in secondary school.. his mother absloutely hate me to the core (say i am a very bad girl.. which is so wrong lor..)
and confiscate his hp blah blah all these..

yeah, and like you, we are not able to meet.. however, we kept a so called "diary" that we will exchanged every day in school.. through this diary, we will both write our feelings in.. and how we felt about our surroundings.. (i even dared to write which guys i saw and i think is cute~ )

can say that because of the diary, it kept our feelings strong.. after secondary school, we lost contact for like half a yr.. he ignored me, i ignored him etc.. but fate brings us back!! and i saw him again and we have been together like for 3 years already until now ^_^

JIAYOU!!
you must find something sweet and unique that you 2 can share and no one else can invade into the world of both of you.. maybe really can exchanged diaries or letters weekly? although it's so "lao tu" but it really can bring both of you nearer de!!

**sihwee** · 27-03-2008, 01:31 PM

once per week v gud already wad! i think cos u 2 jus gort tgt not long ar. if u love her u need to think in her shoes too. her parents dun let her out, u keep asking her out. that will be v stressful for her.

**Artemis86** · 27-03-2008, 09:05 PM

	Quote:			Originally Posted by *BeaRBeaR**
	Me and my gf been together just recently our 3 Months . But lately its seem that we both are quite busy over our own stuff . As i have to work . and her parents don't let her go out all the time to see me , its just onces per week . As my work and she have her own life to do with . Its just seem our relationship love . its like drifting apart . I try to sms her , but its seem that its not the same communiate pattern we used to have . And she also knew some new friends . who have more common things to do with , since they knew each other from work . I feel interior over this . and helpless in all ways . But i tried , but its really take two hand to join together . I don't really know if i can tolerate this any longer. and sometimes i deeply felt that i wanna let her go . And i have also recently argu with my sister . also my working enviroment makes me quite diffcult to breath..its like struggling for me. My friends told me , be happy and grateful that at least we could meet up onces per week . But my heart wants to see her . Its really hard for me to control this feeling sometimes. i don't really know what should i really do . She told me , i could be the who will walk to the end with her , and she feels that we won't break up . yet we both are in different kind of situation. For now , i feel very tired .. i want her with me , but its kinda impossible.. I did my part for her . And I love her ..All i want now its just a hug from her... I really wonder if we can go throught all this . I wonder if i can , or maybe in later part i felt we might break up as well ..

You 2 just become a couple - still in honeymoon period. This is an important period to build the foundation of your relationship.

Yes a relationship does take 2 hands to clap but as you said, she does not want to give up on you or your relationship and clearly she cares for you.

Even though you are busy with your work, but she does not complain abt that, doesn't she? Instead she understand your situation & tries to occupy her time with her interests.

Isn't it good that she does not pick fault with you for being busy with ur job & be independent enough to pursue her own interests?

I understand that U miss her alot & want to see her despite your busy schedule. However as she has a curfew imposed by her parents, it is better that you respect her curfew if you really want to get into good shoes with her parents.

Meeting up once a week is pretty good already, given your busy schedule & her curfew. On those days you do not meet her, you can communicate with her in other ways such as sms, emails. Or u guys can keep a online blog whereby u guys can share your thoughts, feelings and events in ur life with each other.

If u r still feel inferior about her having her new friends, talk to her abt this - your feelings and thoughts, and u might find that you dun have much to fear. Or u can tell her that u r interested to join their activities n see if u can join them.

I think getting to know each other's circles of friends are important esp when her friends are important to her too. Dun just assume that her life revolves around you & although u may very much want to spend alone time with her, but getting to know her friends can help u to understand her more & of cuz being on good terms with her friends also boost your status no?

**Syaoran** · 28-03-2008, 12:10 AM

Concenrate on your work, trust your girl friend more..and understand her

**sarcastic** · 28-03-2008, 12:58 AM

	Quote:			Originally Posted by *BeaRBeaR**
	...her parents don't let her go out all the time to see me , ..

how old are both of u???

**corp25** · 28-03-2008, 01:59 AM

its all parts and parcels in a relationship..

**shirodas** · 28-03-2008, 02:01 AM

	Quote:			Originally Posted by sarcastic
	how old are both of u???

i dun see age is a prob here.
if the family is well off, then even the gal is 20 or 21 the parents will still protect like siao.

**babyLEXI** · 28-03-2008, 02:09 AM

This is a test for the both of u. Must overcome! JIAYOU~!

**eL_niNo** · 28-03-2008, 02:46 AM

hey.. 1 week meet once i know is too little for honeymoon stage. But since ur been tied up at work & she din grumble much.. get on with it.. rather when a couple who oways meet up they will get conflicts easily n quarrel much more. Have u gone NS? If not yet juz nice take this as a training lol.. next time go army if stay in oso muz endure not seeing ur gf. Jiayou ba!

**xxxweixxx** · 28-03-2008, 04:14 AM

Alot couples go thru this initial tough phase, my bf and me too. Jiayou!! Probably all the work stress and other stress is making you see the problem bigger than it is...Just hang on there, you never know what is at the end of the bridge, but usually perseverance and patience and gentle care to each other will pay off...

**jerry** · 28-03-2008, 04:23 AM

seriously... meeting once a week is almost ideal.
meeting more than twice a week tends to kill the magic of meeting up =x