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03-05-2008, 05:57 PM
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#1 (permalink)
| | Vampire Bear Bear
Join Date: Mar 2007 Posts: 7,000 Gender: 
Total SGC$: 13,830.75 |  Question and answer jokes
Q: When attorneys die, why do they bury them 600 feet underground?
A: Because deep down, they're really nice guys.
Q: If you drop a snake and an attorney off the Empire State Building, which one hits first?
A: Who cares? Q: How can you tell the difference between a dead skunk and a dead attorney on the road?
A: The vultures aren't gagging over the skunk.
Q: What's the difference between an attorney and a pit bull?
A: Jewelry.
Q: What do lawyers use for birth control?
A: Their personalities.
Q: What's the definition of mixed emotions?
A: Watching your attorney drive over a cliff in your new Ferrari.
Q: How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One; the lawyer holds it while the rest of the world revolves around him.  To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
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03-05-2008, 07:54 PM
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#2 (permalink)
| | ~cerise me manques~
Join Date: Feb 2008 Posts: 3,316 Gender: 
Total SGC$: 2,801.60 | Re: Question and answer jokes
"==
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[太子&天使] -= ~2k@ys~ =-
i will take care the rest of your life, using the rest of my life~
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04-05-2008, 12:42 AM
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#3 (permalink)
| | Vampire Bear Bear
Join Date: Mar 2007 Posts: 7,000 Gender:
Total SGC$: 13,830.75 | Re: Question and answer jokes
Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?
A: Lawyers accumulate frequent flyer points.
Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a terrorist?
A: You can negotiate with a terrorist.
Q: What's the difference between a bankrupt attorney and a pigeon?
A: The pigeon can still make a deposit on a Mercedes.
Q: What's the difference between lawyers and buzzards?
A: Lawyers have removable wing tips.
Q: What's the definition of a lawyer?
A: A mouth with a life support system.
Q: What do you get when you cross a lawyer with a demon from hell?
A: No changes occur.
Q: What's the difference between God and an attorney?
A: God doesn't think he's an attorney. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
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04-05-2008, 12:46 AM
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#4 (permalink)
| | ♥ A|X
Join Date: Apr 2008 Posts: 7,323 Gender: Location: serangoon north
Total SGC$: 9,495.88 | Re: Question and answer jokes
hmm....not bad =.='''
My mind fails to understand
What my heart tells me to do To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. | |
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04-05-2008, 01:38 PM
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#5 (permalink)
| | Vampire Bear Bear
Join Date: Mar 2007 Posts: 7,000 Gender:
Total SGC$: 13,830.75 | Re: Question and answer jokes
Q: How can you tell a lawyer is lying?
A: Other lawyers look interested.
Q: Why should lawyers wear lots of sunscreen when vacationing at a beach resort?
A: Because they're used to doing all of their lying indoors.
Q: What happened to the banker who went to law school?
A: Now she a loan shark.
Q: Where do vampires learn to suck blood?
A: Law school.
Q: How do you define double jeopardy?
A: When a lawyer calls in her partner.
Q: What do you get when you cross a librarian with a lawyer?
A: All the information you need, but you can抰 understand a word of it.
Q: What's worse than pleading guilty to murder?
A: Getting jail time and getting robbed--hiring an attorney to defend you.
Q: What do honest lawyers and UFOs have in common?
A: You always hear about them, but you never see them. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
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04-05-2008, 02:53 PM
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#6 (permalink)
| | Registered Members
Join Date: Mar 2008 Posts: 255 Gender:
Total SGC$: 204.16 | Re: Question and answer jokes
All these are american jokes..
Do you dislike lawyers that much? o_O | |
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04-05-2008, 02:59 PM
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#7 (permalink)
| | +:_Heart Hubby & Son_:+
Join Date: Apr 2008 Posts: 2,883 Gender:
Total SGC$: 2,094.59 | Re: Question and answer jokes
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05-05-2008, 02:08 AM
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#8 (permalink)
| | Legendary San Guo Freak
Join Date: Jan 2008 Posts: 6,160 Gender:
Total SGC$: 6,617.64 | Re: Question and answer jokes
Lolx...
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Lai Lai...Sing Along With Yuu-Ku... Come Join The Newly Revamped
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... Pls Join Me Also In My
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... Click To See ->
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05-05-2008, 11:06 AM
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#9 (permalink)
| | Vampire Bear Bear
Join Date: Mar 2007 Posts: 7,000 Gender:
Total SGC$: 13,830.75 | Re: Question and answer jokes
Q: What do you get if you put 100 lawyers in your basement?
A: A whine cellar.
Q: What do you call a lawyer gone bad?
A: Your honor.
Q: What do you call a judge gone bad?
A: Senator.
Q: Have you heard about the lawyers?word processor?
A: No matter what font you select, everything comes out in fine print.
Q: What's the difference between a good lawyer and a great lawyer?
A: A good lawyer knows the law. A great lawyer knows the judge.
Q: When lawyers die, why don't vultures them?
A: Even a vulture has taste.
Q: What do you call a lawyer with an I.Q. of 10?
A: A lawyer.
Q: What do you call a lawyer with an I.Q. of 50?
A: Your honor. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
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05-05-2008, 03:28 PM
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#10 (permalink)
| | マスタープラットフォーム
Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 1,294 Gender:
Total SGC$: 1,507.91 | Re: Question and answer jokes
wah...all lawyers jokes
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06-05-2008, 02:50 PM
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#11 (permalink)
| | Vampire Bear Bear
Join Date: Mar 2007 Posts: 7,000 Gender:
Total SGC$: 13,830.75 | Re: Question and answer jokes
Q: How can you tell if a lawyer is well hung?
A: You can't get a finger between the rope and his neck!
Q: If you are stranded on a desert island with Adolph Hitler, Atilla the Hun, and a lawyer, and you have a gun with only two bullets, what do you do?
A: Shoot the lawyer twice.
Q: What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?
A: A good start!
Q: How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?
A: His lips are moving.
Q: What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?
A: There are skid marks in front of the dog.
Q: Why won't sharks attack lawyers?
A: Professional courtesy.
Q: What do you have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?
A: Not enough sand.
Q: Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?
A: To practice.
A command was given to a dog: "SPEAK!"
The dog said in return: "Not without my lawyer present!"
Q: Why is going to a meeting of the Bar Association like going into a bait shop?
A: Because of the abundance of suckers, leeches, maggots and nightcrawlers
Q: Why are there so many lawyers in the U.S.?
A: Because St. Patrick chased the snakes out of Ireland.
Q: What the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?
A: The lawyer charges more.
Q: How many lawyers does it take to stop a moving bus?
A: Never enough.
Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: How many can you afford?
Q: Did you hear about the new microwave lawyer?
A: You spend eight minutes in his office and get billed as if you'd been there eight hours.
Q: What's the difference between a law firm and a circus?
A: At a circus, the clowns don't charge the public by the hour.
Q: Did you hear about the lawyer hurt in an accident?
A: An ambulance stopped suddenly.
Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None, they'd rather keep their clients in the dark.
Q: What do lawyers do after they die?
A: They lie still.
Q: How many lawyer jokes are there?
A: Just two, all the rest are true.
Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?
A: You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
Q: What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?
A: An offer you can't understand.
Q: What is a criminal lawyer?
A: Redundant.
Q: How many personal injury attorneys does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Three--one to turn the bulb, one to shake him off the ladder, and the third to sue the ladder company.
Q: Why does California have the most attorneys, and New Jersey have the most toxic waste dumps?
A: New Jersey got first pick.
Q: What's black and brown and looks good on an attorney?
A: A doberman pinscher. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
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21-05-2008, 12:15 PM
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#12 (permalink)
| | Vampire Bear Bear
Join Date: Mar 2007 Posts: 7,000 Gender:
Total SGC$: 13,830.75 | |
