Go Back   Singapore's Online Community - Singapore Forums > Leisure & Entertainment > Laugh Out Loud
Register FAQ Member List Calendar Mark Forums Read

Laugh Out Loud
Post jokes, funny pictures and riddles.


Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 15-10-2007, 01:39 PM   #1 (permalink)
jovylee
Vampire Bear Bear
jovylee is on a distinguished road
 
jovylee's Avatar

Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 7,095
iTrader: (0)
Gender:
Location: Central
Total SGC$: 13,830.75




Default Poem of English

Dearest creature in creation,
Study English pronunciation.
I will teach you in my verse
Sounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse.
I will keep you, Suzy, busy,
Make your head with heat grow dizzy.
Tear in eye, your dress will tear.
So shall I! Oh hear my prayer.

Just compare heart, beard, and heard,
Dies and diet, lord and word,
Sword and sward, retain and Britain.
(Mind the latter, how it's written.)
Now I surely will not plague you
With such words as plaque and ague.
But be careful how you speak:
Say break and steak, but bleak and streak;
Cloven, oven, how and low,
Script, receipt, show, poem, and toe.

Hear me say, devoid of trickery,
Daughter, laughter, and Terpsichore,
Typhoid, measles, topsails, aisles,
Exiles, similes, and reviles;
Scholar, vicar, and cigar,
Solar, mica, war and far;
One, anemone, Balmoral,
Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel;
Gertrude, German, wind and mind,
Scene, Melpomene, mankind.

Billet does not rhyme with ballet,
Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet.
Blood and flood are not like food,
Nor is mould like should and would.
Viscous, viscount, load and broad,
Toward, to forward, to reward.
And your pronunciation's OK
When you correctly say croquet,
Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve,
Friend and fiend, alive and live.

Ivy, privy, famous; clamour
And enamour rhyme with hammer.
River, rival, tomb, bomb, comb,
Doll and roll and some and home.
Stranger does not rhyme with anger,
Neither does devour with clangour.
Souls but foul, haunt but aunt,
Font, front, wont, want, grand, and grant,
Shoes, goes, does. Now first say finger,
And then singer, ginger, linger,
Real, zeal, mauve, gauze, gouge and gauge,
Marriage, foliage, mirage, and age.

Query does not rhyme with very,
Nor does fury sound like bury.
Dost, lost, post and doth, cloth, loth.
Job, nob, bosom, transom, oath.
Though the differences seem little,
We say actual but victual.
Refer does not rhyme with deafer.
Foeffer does, and zephyr, heifer.
Mint, pint, senate and sedate;
Dull, bull, and George ate late.
Scenic, Arabic, Pacific,
Science, conscience, scientific.

Liberty, library, heave and heaven,
Rachel, ache, moustache, eleven.
We say hallowed, but allowed,
People, leopard, towed, but vowed.
Mark the differences, moreover,
Between mover, cover, clover;
Leeches, breeches, wise, precise,
Chalice, but police and lice;
Camel, constable, unstable,
Principle, disciple, label.

Petal, panel, and canal,
Wait, surprise, plait, promise, pal.
Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair,
Senator, spectator, mayor.
Tour, but our and succour, four.
Gas, alas, and Arkansas.
Sea, idea, Korea, area,
Psalm, Maria, but malaria.
Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean.
Doctrine, turpentine, marine.

Compare alien with Italian,
Dandelion and battalion.
Sally with ally, yea, ye,
Eye, I, ay, aye, whey, and key.
Say aver, but ever, fever,
Neither, leisure, skein, deceiver.
Heron, granary, canary.
Crevice and device and aerie.

Face, but preface, not efface.
Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass.
Large, but target, gin, give, verging,
Ought, out, joust and scour, scourging.
Ear, but earn and wear and tear
Do not rhyme with here but ere.
Seven is right, but so is even,
Hyphen, roughen, nephew Stephen,
Monkey, donkey, Turk and jerk,
Ask, grasp, wasp, and cork and work.

Pronunciation -- think of Psyche!
Is a paling stout and spikey?
Won't it make you lose your wits,
Writing groats and saying grits?
It's a dark abyss or tunnel:
Strewn with stones, stowed, solace, gunwale,
Islington and Isle of Wight,
Housewife, verdict and indict.

Finally, which rhymes with enough --
Though, through, plough, or dough, or cough?
Hiccough has the sound of cup.
My advice is to give up!


To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


Pls Support S.H.E FansClub


To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
jovylee is offline   Reply With Quote
Sponsored links
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

SGC$ Per Thread View: 0
SGC$ Per Thread: 2.00
SGC$ Per Reply: 0.50

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Lee Bai's Poem - versions in Chinese, English, Singlish, Ah Beng, Army, Osama & Bush Samuelpsw Laugh Out Loud 15 15-05-2007 04:20 PM
Why English Is So Difficult? newcomer Laugh Out Loud 5 06-05-2007 05:25 PM
Enough English, we're Chinese janice Local Affairs 11 12-03-2007 08:22 PM
SO BAD IN ENGLISH, students shouldn't be admitted Ba0bEi Local Affairs 1 31-01-2007 02:24 PM
Write A Love Poem vgohyk Love & Relationships 5 31-12-2006 11:29 PM

» Current Poll
Are Parents Irresponsible if They Smoked Around Their Kids?
Yes, definitely! There is no Excuse! - 63.60%
152 Votes
Yes, but maybe excusable - 17.15%
41 Votes
No, they may not agree/know of the harm - 7.11%
17 Votes
No, it is their choice how they want their kids raised. - 12.13%
29 Votes
Total Votes: 239
You may not vote on this poll.
» Friends
Yahbid.com
Funny Videos
Free Wallpapers
Singapore Christian
Start Your Website
Copyright© 2004-2008 SGClub.com. All rights reserved.
Ad Management by RedTyger & Powered by vBadvanced CMPS v3.0.1

        All times are GMT +8. The time now is 07:55 AM.


SEO by vBSEO 3.0.0 ©2007, Crawlability, Inc.