S'PORE HUSBAND'S UNREASONABLE DEMAND: Sleep with my friend or I'll beat you
HE told his wife he had entered a wife-swapping deal with his friend.
But when his wife refused to sleep with another man, he beat her so badly she needed stitches around her eyes and had a broken tooth.
Her case mirrors the horror the victim in the above report faced.
Sally (not her real name) said she thought at first that her husband was merely talking nonsense.
When the 27-year-old realised he was serious, she was shocked, but stood her ground. This resulted in her having to endure months of physical abuse.
And though she was bruised and battered, her husband continued to have sex with her.
In the end, the beatings left the couple childless - Sally miscarried after one such attack.
Her horrific story was told to counsellor Sheena Jebal, the chief executive of Nulife Care & Counselling Services.
Ms Sheena said it was one of the worst cases of spousal abuse that she had seen in her 13 years on the job.
The counsellor first saw Sally in 2004.
At the time, Sally had been married for three years.
Ms Sheena recalled: 'She was very confused (over her husband's outrageous proposal) because she thought he was joking. He had a drinking problem so it was possible that he didn't know what he was saying.'
Ms Sheena said Sally refused to report her husband to the police because she loved him and didn't want to get him into trouble.
Sally's husband was already abusive during their courtship.
She thought he would change after marriage.
After the beatings, Sally would wear long-sleeved clothes to hide the bruises and claim that she fell down to cover up the injuries.
Ms Sheena said: 'Even when she miscarried, she told hospital staff she slipped and fell in the toilet.
'She thought her husband was abusive because he loved her too much. But I told her this was unacceptable and unnatural.'
Sally could not even turn to her own family for help.
Her family had disowned her as they had objected to her marriage.
Nor could she turn to her friends as her husband made her cut off contact with the outside world.
Ms Sheena said: 'Sally was a housewife as her husband didn't let her work. He wanted to control her life. She also didn't think she could get a job as she is a school drop-out.
'Even talking to her friends on the street and over the phone was not allowed.
'He hurled vulgarities at her if she chatted with her friends on the phone and forced her to hang up on them. He asked her things such as whether she was cheating on him or if her friends treated her better than he did.'
Seeing that Sally was in a dilemma, Ms Sheena suggested that she stay in a women's shelter to sort out her thoughts.
And Sally did so.
There, Sally called her husband to see if he was remorseful.
Ms Sheena said: 'Sally told him she left their home as she didn't know what to do. But he threatened to kill her if he got hold of her.'
It seemed that was the last straw - Sally took out a personal protection order against her husband and filed for divorce.
Since then, things have been looking up for Sally.
Ms Sheena said: 'She is working and she has made up with her family. Now, she lives with her parents. I met her recently and she is so much happier.'
Mr Harry Low, who has been a counsellor for more than 10 years, said that women who are forced into sex could suffer post-traumatic stress disorder.
He said: 'These women would feel as if they were raped. What they go through is different from prostitutes having sex for money.
'Such victims feel dirtied and ashamed. They may even think that misfortune befell them because they were physically attractive.
'As a result, they may become self-destructive and resort to measures like overeating to look ugly.'
Still, Mr Low said such cases are extreme.
He said: 'Most cases I see involve emotional blackmail. Even if there's violence, the injuries aren't that severe.'
taken:
http://newpaper.asia1.com.sg/news/st...44565,00.html? 
MARRIED TO THE DEVIL 
