kotoko

hi there! am facing this problem recently. the guy whom i like suddenly came to ask a gd friend of mine if i am in love with another guy. i felt that it is really none of his business since he didnt even bother to give me an answer when i confessed my feelings to him. *i am not looking for him to say he likes me, but at least give me an answer so that i wont dangle there anymore.* secondly, i felt that it was an insult to me. coz i dont fall for another man tat easily. so, in the end, i went to him and told him to stop asking my friends such stupid questions and that he should really think about things bet himself and another girl. *coz a lot of pple are saying tat he is interested in her*

what should i do now? i feel so sad now that i know that's how he thinks of me. :handsup:

shame on you if you fool me once. shame on me if you fool me twice.

Terry

ask urself wat u wan now ... u like him but when u feel insulted does it affect ur view to him??

simplepris

so wat's the time lapse between u confess ur feelings to him and when he asks ur fren if u are interested in another guy?

cos my guess is, it could be he's interested in u, wants to reply u back but he's worried u may have 'change target' already. of coz u wont do dat.. but he's just worried bah.. wat if he tells u that he also likes u but u dun like him anymore?

maybe u can just let him know that u are still interested in him.. see wat's his reaction bah..

be simplified at
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Team Member --- simplepris aka Simple Bear Bear

kotoko

i like him. but i think i want him to be happy. doesnt really have to accept me.

i told him a few times that although i still have feelings for him, i just hope we can remain as friends. tink the last time i told him is... 2 weeks ago? somehow, i think it's men's ego hoping that i wont move on, but yet he doesnt like me...

shame on you if you fool me once. shame on me if you fool me twice.

vgohyk

Well Kotoko, here's what I've got to say.

You said that he asked your friend whether you are interested in another guy and you felt insulted as you know you are faithful and does not change target easily, whereas through his questioning, you felt that he thinks about you in a -ve way.

The thing is, it's always good to stay calm and think about the reasons why he questioned that. Is it because of the way you react/treated him lately that makes him feel that way, or is it because of rumours, etc? Perhaps you should confront to him and ask him why he asked that, and why he is so concern about it when he doesn't reciprocate when you confessed to him in the first place? Ask him if he doesn't like you in any ways, then why must he care if you are interested in another guy? Ask him questions to clear your doubts and insecurities. This helps to prevent unnecessary misunderstanding especially when the both of you are still "friends".

Since you yourself "believes" in rumours as you said that many have talked about him and another girl, then there is no reason for you to get too upset when he asked your good friend about your "change-of-target". He might have heard of some rumours and that's why he is curious?

There are a whole lot of possibilities to your current situation. I suggest that you should ask him directly and not just go right infront of him and shut him by telling him not to ask anymore stupid questions. This will result in a very -ve way. Who knows he likes you, but because of what you warned, he became afraid and dare not try to understand you anymore?

Ask him, ask him!

:mellow3:

kotoko

dun tink he is interested in me. what i am very lost abt is that he mentioned that he "cant be bothered" abt what happen to me when i confessed to him face-to-face. so, why is he so bothered abt who i like now? perhaps, he is happy that i have a changed of heart. i dunno. but what really made me so upset is that he treats my love like such a cheap thing. like i am someone who will give away her love easily.

and we are friends... friends as in, hi-bye friends, no longer the close pals we were in the past.

shame on you if you fool me once. shame on me if you fool me twice.

ryuza

hmm... seems to me.. the guy is rather indecisive and a very very egoistic kind of person..

pardon me, i'm not stereotyping...

here's a few of my cents:

1. when u confessed to him, it could be that he was shocked that's y he didn't react in a positive way, and when he came to grips about the whole thing, that's y he is scared that u r liking another... (either because he scared no one fills his ego anymore, or he might really have started to like u)

2. He might be asking your friends because he is kind of possesive about this feeling of urs towards him (ego....) or it might just be that he's interested...

3. He's no longer a close fren... could it be because u confronted him? or its after u confessed to him? if that's the case... perhaps u shld move on... cause it seems like he could be avoiding u....

i really think its a high chance he's not worth the effort... (gut feeling)... but assess the situation urself... find ur own path and make the decisions that will bring u through with no regrets....

Bear Bear Family Tree Club
General MGR - Game Master Bear Bear
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kotoko

hey ryuza, u are right! most of my friends said exactly what u said, he is indecisive and very egoistic. and most of my friends tell me that he is not worth it... :disgust2:

part of me says i should move on... but the feelings cant seem to go off coz i see him everyday. i have my goals for my career... and i am seriously trying to work hard for it. i have to be honest, i want him to love me. but i know it is not meant to be...

friendship wise... i dunno if we will ever be friends again... maybe just colleagues or hi-bye friends forever? :handsup:

shame on you if you fool me once. shame on me if you fool me twice.

ryuza

hmm, i can understand the feelings of affection can never fade of so easily (especially so since u nv got to be with him yet, things u can't get hold of, u will usually have stronger feelings pertaining to the thing u wanted so badly)...

If its ur career that's more impt, then just treat him normally (though its hard... but its better to prioritize...) and focus on ur work performance.

even if he did give u a response, would it change much? i dun think so, feelings for another person usually begin from nothing and it will go back to nothing just as easily.

Bear Bear Family Tree Club
General MGR - Game Master Bear Bear
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xechizon

hmmm. indecisive is a word for him.

but since he ask your friend abt u. Meaning that it could be that he likes u. just that he wanna know more before doing anything.

U could prolly hint to him again and see whats his reaction.

Then again, after those things that he had done. did it affected ur feelings for him. U got to be very sure too. =D

good luck. =D

Happiness is xechizon-Shaped. :biggrin4:

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vgohyk