Kerri

Some lawyer laughs from a little book called "Disorder in the Court." These are things people actually said in court, word for word.

Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July fifteenth.
Q: What year?
A: Every year.

Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
A: Yes.
Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
A: I forget.
Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?

Q: How old is your son, the one living with you.
A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
Q: How long has he lived with you?
A: Forty-five years.

Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning?
A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
Q: And why did that upset you?
A: My name is Susan.

Q: And where was the location of the accident?
A: Approximately milepost 499.
Q: And where is milepost 499?
A: Probably between milepost 498 and 500.

Q: Sir, what is your IQ?
A: Well, I can see pretty well, I think.

Q: Did you blow your horn or anything?
A: After the accident?
Q: Before the accident.
A: Sure, I played for ten years. I even went to school for it.

Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo or the occult?
A: We both do.
Q: Voodoo?
A: We do.
Q: You do?
A: Yes, voodoo.

Q: Trooper, when you stopped the defendant, were your red and blue lights flashing?
A: Yes.
Q: Did the defendant say anything when she got out of her car?
A: Yes, sir.
Q: What did she say?
A: What disco am I at?

Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?

Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?

Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?

Q: Was it you or your younger brother who was killed in the war?

Q: Did he kill you?

Q: How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision?

Q: You were there until the time you left, is that true?

Q: How many times have you committed suicide?

Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
A: Yes.
Q: And what were you doing at that time?

Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there any girls?

Q: You say the stairs went down to the basement?
A: Yes.

Q: And these stairs, did they go up also?

Q: Mr. Slatery, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn't you?
A: I went to Europe, Sir.
Q: And you took your new wife?

Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?

Q: Can you describe the individual?
A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
Q: Was this a male, or a female?

Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.

Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.

Q: All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
A: Oral.

Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.

Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?

Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing?
A: No.
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?
A: It is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.

:biggrin4:

teriyaki

LOL~~
sum of de qns is so contradicitng sia.. haaah!~

but

B I G B A N G fanclub-
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Kerri

Lol! Ya.. cldn't believe the lawyers actually ask dumb qns like these.

landy

is gu yi de or what? lk so stupid..some qns is xtra..use common sense can knw le..but thn..aftall..is funny..haha..did laugh for a few pts..thx for sharing!

RACHEL:))

haha
freaking lame lah omg!

landy

quite okay larh..nt very lame..LOL..mayb sometime lawyer really will ask tis kind of stupid qns?

Kerri

Ya i think lawyers may sometimes have to ask rhetorial qns cos they need to hear it directly from the witness's mouth.

xiiaoqingwa

funny! hah

mess with the best, die like the rest.

n_height

ahaha, last one esp is like rofl!! XDD

darkdesir3

hahaha ..
lols ..

violette

*faint* like tat oso can

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micxiao

the last one is smart... the lawyer kena suan...

GeneKoh

I tink the obvious questions is juz to dismiss all other possibilities ba...

Cuz of the rule tat the defendant is innocent until "proven" guilty...

magickk

I love the last one. Took me an extra moment to get it but whaooo I love that doctor man.

Kerri

Lol! But some of the qns asked really very diao! Think if u like this joke, got another thread abt microsoft helpdesk staff gettin silly qns from customers.. that was real funny too!:biggrin4:

chinkai

Do lawyers really ask such dumb questions? A bit hard to believe, considering the amount of education they receive...but then again, too much of something good can be bad, so...

皆さん、こんにちは。僕はチンカイです。どうぞよろしくお願いします。


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Kerri

Hmm.. i suppose these are the times when lawyers screw up due to lack of preparation, lack of info collected, not fast-thinking enough n stuff like that ba.