LAUGH & LEARN 2008 ("The Cow") - Singapore's Online Community

**qing02051981** · 23-02-2008, 09:56 PM

Humour has many uses - it can produce laughter (a great pick-me-up), it's good for health, it can defuse tense situations, win friends, even save relationships.
And, depending on how creative you are, humour can even help you pass an exam even though you didn't have a clue.
This is an essay on "The Cow" submitted for a Civil Services University Exam. By the way, I'm reading it word for word.
"The cow is a successful animal. Also he is quadrupud, and because he is female, he give milk,but will do so when he is got child. He is same like God, sacred to Hindus and useful to man.But he has got four legs together. Two are forward and two are afterwards.
His whole body can be utilised for use. More so the milk. What can it do? Various ghee, butter, cream, curd, why and the condensed milk and so forth. Also he is useful to cobbler, watermans and mankind generally.
"His motion is slow only because he is of asitudinious species. Also his other motion is much useful to trees, plants as well as making flat cakes in hand and drying in the sun. Cow is the only animal that extricates his feeding after eating. Then afterwards she chew with his teeth whom are situated in the inside of the mouth. He is incessantly in the meadows in the grass.
"His only attacking and defending organ is the horn, specially so when he is got child. This is done by knowing his head whereby he causes the weapons to be paralleled to the ground of the earth and instantly proceed with great velocity forwards.
"He has got tails also, but not like similar animals. It has hairs on the other end of the other side. This is done to frighten away the flies which alight on his cohoa body whereupon he gives hit with it.
The palms of his feet are soft unto the touch. So the grasses head is not crushed. At night time have poses by looking down on the ground and he shouts his eyes like his relatives, the horse does not do so.
"This is the cow."
The candidate reportedly passed the exam.
So, if you can't be smart, be funny.
938LIVE will be showing you how you can use humour to your advantage at our upcoming Laugh & Learn seminar on 5th March. Speakers Paul Tolton, Alvin Lee and Ricky Lien will dispense valuable tips to help you get through life's hurdles with a smile and special guest Andrea Fonseka will share on how you can live your dream!
A Slice of Life is written, produced and presented by Eugene Loh unless otherwise stated. If you wish to share the scripts with others, please credit 'Eugene Loh, 938LIVE, a station of MediaCorp Radio'.