I neglect my daughter...
Work pressures may keep her from spending enough time with her daughter, but Quan YiFeng says she is trying to be the best mother she can be
By Chang May Choon
August 07, 2008
QUAN Yifeng is so caught up with work that she sometimes sees her 9-year-old daughter, Eleanor, only once in two or three weeks.
(Left) Quan YiFeng will be hosting a new reality TV show on all-round mothers called Super Mum on Channel 8. -- TNP Picture: CHOO CHWEE HUA
(Top right) Quan YiFeng with her daughter Eleanor, 9, aboard the Singapore Flyer. -- Picture: QUAN YIFENG
The popular TV compere admits to placing career above family.
And she tries to make up for her neglect by spoiling her girl silly instead of disciplining her when necessary.
Yifeng, 34, told The New Paper: 'I'm not an educator. I can't supervise her homework because I don't know hanyu pinyin or English, and my maths is bad.
'I can only try to satisfy her emotional needs and give her material stuff like dolls and toys, which I get from sponsors.
'Sometimes I wonder if I'm spoiling her, but I already have so little time with her, I'd rather spend it loving her than scolding her.'
REALITY SHOW
The topic came up yesterday as the wacky host was promoting her new reality TV show, Super Mum, which aims to discover the best all-rounded mother.
It debuts on Channel 8 on 26 Aug.
The question on every reporter's lips was: Is Yifeng a Super Mum herself?
'I fit into the all-rounded category because I'm a wife, mum and career woman,' said the wife of former actor Peter Yu.
'But I'm not a good mum, because of my work. Societal pressure is so intense, and when I choose to focus on work, I indirectly neglect my family.'
But probe further and you realise that she's not as terrible a mum she claims to be.
'Nobody knows how to be a mum, you just learn as you go along. Who can say you're the greatest mum? I try my best, but I'm not the best.'
FREE TIME
For Yifeng, giving her best means devoting all her free time outside of work to her darling girl.
The mother-daughter pair spend their weekends cycling, inline-skating, painting in the park, or fishing.
They also explore pasar malams because Eleanor loves to eat Ramly burgers and play at the game stalls.
They also go on family vacations together with Peter.
They went to Koh Samui in March this year and Langkawi last year.
Yifeng said she never says no to Eleanor, even if it means donning a swimsuit and drawing stares at Downtown East's water theme park.
'She told me a few months ago that she wanted to go because everybody she knows has been there before.
'So we went, but she was not too happy because I kept getting distracted by people coming up to me to talk to me. I wouldn't even have realised it if she were to drown!' she added jokingly.
On how her daughter copes with having a famous mum, Yifeng said Eleanor is proud of her, but sometimes shows off a bit too much.
With a laugh, she recalled how her daughter once went out with a friend and called her on her handphone to say: 'You're my mum, right? You're Quan Yifeng, right?'
'I was like, 'You shut up! Don't be hao lian (Hokkien for arrogant).
'I've got to teach her to be careful. She may get many friends because of me, but she may also lose things or get into trouble because of me.'
Candid as she was on the topic of motherhood, Yifeng clammed up when it came to her supposed marriage woes.
Which was a surprise, considering how much she's talked about it in the past few months.
In an interview with Lianhe Wanbao in June, she admitted that there was no love left in her 10-year marriage.
She and Peter tied the knot in 1998, after meeting on the drama Happy Travel Agency.
But she claimed problems arose when he allegedly began gambling and drinking.
She told Wanbao about of her marital state: 'No fights, no tears, no laughter. We have no grievances or love, just tolerance.'
Later, on the Channel U talk show CelebriTea Break, Yifeng spoke of how Peter hurt her so deeply with his gambling ways that she couldn't feel for him anymore, despite him turning over a new leaf.
She claimed to have thought about divorce every day, but had no guts to proceed with it. But she would readily agree if Peter were to bring up the subject.
EVASIVE
But when this reporter tried to broach the topic, Yifeng turned evasive.
She said: 'It used to be, if you ask me, I'd talk about it. But now, even if you ask, I won't say much. I've already said too much. I've finally learnt to protect my own privacy.
'I don't know how it started, but people got so interested (in her private life). Now, I'd rather you let me keep that piece of privacy for myself.'
Given her blunt-talking ways, Yifeng has been known to spill the juiciest details about herself.
For instance, in 2006, she said she didn't have sex for a year because she was feeling depressed and found sex to be a 'chore'.
Looking back, she admitted she 'brought it upon herself'.
'I have to be responsible for whatever I did or said. I'd still talk if people ask me questions, but there's a limit to how much I'd say.
'If it's still too juicy, I'd just have to go home and slap myself,' she added, with a self-deprecating laugh.
One wonders, is she censoring herself for the sake of her family?
After all, detractors had written to Lianhe Wanbao to question why Yifeng is blabbing without sparing a thought for her family members.
She shrugged it off, insisting that she was only responding to media questions and not actively volunteering information.
'It's not as if I call reporters to tell them that I've just quarrelled with my husband.
'Why is everyone harping on the topic (of her marriage woes)? How long are you going to persist at it? Can I not talk about it anymore?'
Source:
http://newpaper.asia1.com.sg/show/st...72596,00.html? 
I neglect my daughter... 
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