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Old 20-09-2007, 10:52 AM   #1 (permalink)
tesoon
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Default How to guess a woman's age

A woman decides to have a facelift for her 50th birthday.

She spends $5,000 and feels pretty good about the results. On her way home, she stops at a news stand to buy a newspaper. Before leaving she says to the clerk, "I hope you don't mind my asking, but how old do you think I am?"

"About 32," is the reply. "Nope! I'm exactly 50," the woman says happily.

A little while later she goes into McDonald's and asks the counter girl the very same question. The girl replies, "I guess about 29." The woman replies, "Nope I'm 50."

Now she's feeling really good about herself. She stops in a drug store on her way down the street. She goes up to the counter to get some mints and asks the clerk this burning question.

The clerk responds, "Oh, I'd say 30." Again she proudly responds, "I am 50, but thank you."

While waiting for the bus to go home, she asks an old man waiting next to her the same question. He replies, "Lady, I'm 78 and my eye sight is going. Although, when I was young, there was a sure way to tell how old a woman was.

It sounds very forward, but it requires you to let me put my hands under your bra. Then, and only then can I tell you EXACTLY how old you are."

They wait in silence on the empty street until curiosity gets the best of her.

She finally blurts out, "What the hell, go ahead."

He slips both of his hands under her blouse and begins to feel around very slowly and carefully. He bounces and weighs each breast...He gently pinches each nipple. He pushes her breasts together and rubs them against each other.

After a couple of minutes of this, she says, "Okay, okay...How old am I?"

He completes one last squeeze of her breasts, removes his hands, and says. "Madam, you are 50."

Stunned and amazed, the woman says, "That was incredible, how could you tell?"

The old man replies, "promise you won't get mad?" "I promise! I won't" she says.

He replies, "I was behind you in line at McDonald's."


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Old 20-09-2007, 12:23 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: How to guess a woman's age

wahaha... wat a 'smart' old man... =D

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Old 20-09-2007, 12:25 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: How to guess a woman's age

lolz. wth.
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Old 20-09-2007, 12:28 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: How to guess a woman's age

not fair lor. the old man take advantage of the lady! BOOS.
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Old 20-09-2007, 12:31 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: How to guess a woman's age

lol..that woman kena cheated for nothing..haha
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Old 20-09-2007, 03:42 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: How to guess a woman's age

dirty old man! :disgust2:
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Old 20-09-2007, 05:34 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Default Re: How to guess a woman's age

lol..ke lian de lady..
cos of being confident then kana eat tofu

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Old 20-09-2007, 05:38 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Girl Re: How to guess a woman's age

dumb woman.... let the guy pinch here and there like buying fruits jus cos she wan to prove that she looks young:notimpressed2:

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Old 20-09-2007, 07:11 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Default Re: How to guess a woman's age

haha....she gt trick by e old man


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Old 20-09-2007, 11:46 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Default Re: How to guess a woman's age

wahahas... the woman must be went mad after tat.. lols..
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Old 21-09-2007, 02:00 AM   #11 (permalink)
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Default Re: How to guess a woman's age

will it happen in singapore?haa

too many marketing programs online?

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summarises everything u wanna know abt online business!

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Old 21-09-2007, 09:53 AM   #12 (permalink)
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Default Re: How to guess a woman's age

haha old tiko peh

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Old 21-09-2007, 09:56 AM   #13 (permalink)
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Default Re: How to guess a woman's age

tts a very horny and smart old man for you!! 姜还是老的辣!!!:biggrin4: :biggrin4:

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Old 21-09-2007, 10:38 AM   #14 (permalink)
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Default Re: How to guess a woman's age

AGRH. dirty old man!
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Old 21-09-2007, 11:21 AM   #15 (permalink)
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Default Re: How to guess a woman's age

he eating the old lady's tuofu...
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Old 21-09-2007, 12:26 PM   #16 (permalink)
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Default Re: How to guess a woman's age

lolz nice one!
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Old 22-09-2007, 08:24 PM   #17 (permalink)
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Default Re: How to guess a woman's age

haha nice one.


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Old 22-09-2007, 09:53 PM   #18 (permalink)
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Default Re: How to guess a woman's age

lol, what a witty old man ~
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Old 22-09-2007, 11:02 PM   #19 (permalink)
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