soulite

i have a girlfriend who i want to marry with.
we love each other very much. that's for sure.

she is my life's first gf and she is the one i had my first sex with...
(i am not that young)

few weeks ago, i found out that she had sex with her first boyfriend
when she was a teenager. she told me the truth.
it's not that she was a loose girl.

well, i did not 100% firmly believed that she was a virgin, cuz i knew that
she had some boyfriends in the past.
but i did somewhat anticipate and comfort myself that she is a virgin...

i had a hard time to face the reality, maybe it was more harsh because
she is my first (and probably the last) girl.
however i got better and better...that is nothing but the past
and i know people experience sex earlier and earlier these days...

but i think i did not 100% overcome.
i occasionally imagine another guy f*cking my girl although i abhor
myself for imagining that.
i know that i am being so narrowminded
but how can i get over this?

ongjiannni:D

ehh.. just tell yourself, although there WAS someone ****ing your girl before, she now belongs to you, not him. she is going to marry, and not him too. so count yourself lucky for that. and be glad that she did not sleep with 5-6 guys like girls now tend to do so.

dont think too much or delve into it because it might spoil your relationship at the end of the day.

`BeRRies-*

well.
what i think is.
u should tell urself.
everybody has a past.
be it a good bad one.

u shouldn't be looking at her past.
since u have so much time to look into her past.
why not save it to look into the future together with her instead?

it's just a past.
u may have a clean record becuz she's ur first girlfriend.

try to think..

somehow...
believe urself.

and not the past.
think of u and her on the bed
and not other guys lah.

xD

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You made me realized how great love can be.

Lautouzhi

u still say not young. Soon la. U will get used to it, not that u want it this way, when u grow older, finding a virgin, unless u go kk hospital n book.
I really can't help, if i got 1 pool of shit, i will press ur head down. U F##k her, u never think also, what if u are not the one marrying her and she is a V at that time. Selfish and childish thinking, still say not young.

Msn :
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`BeRRies-*

love her as long as u can.
be fair to her also mah
imagine how she would think when u actually mind abt her past.

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You made me realized how great love can be.

esatic

You mean whether she was a virgin or not affects the way you feel and look at her? If you say you want to marry her, does her past actually matter to you or are you just feeling unfair that she was your first and you weren't hers?

corp25

then go and have sex with some other girls then ok liao both no more virgin

neh i'm just jokin.. NO seriously i'm jokin.. don't you ever do it..

hmm.. since you say you both gonna get married why think soo much.. she's gonna be your wife.. you can have all the time having sex with her.. just don't think so much.. i know its hard..

soulite

it didn't affect the way i feel about her but sometimes it just makes me crazy
it's more because we are temporarily separated because she's studying abroad
(for about 6 months).
and about your second question,
i don't know. maybe 40:60...the latter one you mentioned actually does matter a tiny bit.
i think it wouldn't be this bad if i had other girlfriends before i met her.
and also it wouldn't be this bad if she had her first sex after her teenage years.
i am a little conservative person.

and thanks for advices people
i will try hard to think positive

esatic

Ok, you really are thinking too much. One of the things that men have GOT to understand is that MOST (Cant say all) women marry for love.

Think of it, she's been with you and she's telling you abt her past even though she neednt do that. She knows by doing so wld open up another can of worms bt she still did so because she loves you.

If you cant get over it, you should really ask yourself why. She's even going to spend the rest of her life with you, dont you think that by somewhat judging on whether who she slept with matters at your stage of relationship?

I know it's difficult but try to let it go and understand that YOU are the one she has chosen and decided to spend the rest of her life with. Dont let the insecurities eat you inside out because chances are, you're just imagining things yourself. (I also do that... Hahahha!)

Remember that and enjoy your life together.

bluebubblex

just remember that the true belongingness lies within the heart not the sex life.

i guess everyone have their own past.. but if u think abt it, her previous bf doesn't own something tht u own now - her heart! why get all tensed up abt these sort of things when u can just enjoy what u have? hehe, im sure u can overcome this problem. it is just the matter of time (:

incomplete without you-
http://reeny.net

Kelis

wad u're experiencing is very normal, nth weird. every guy will zai yi, & be affected by it. it's jus a matter of time b4 u can digest it

Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery. But, today is a gift, that's why it is called "Present".


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inle

i kinda agree to tat if he cant move on...

i think u r not tat conversative after all...
u haf premartial sex wz ur gf...
it seem to me tat u r measurin wz a diff set of rulers for urself n the rest of the world....
u can haf premartial sex....
ur gf or even the rest of the world cant or else u will b so disturbed by it tat u went crazy....

however it will b better if u had sex b4 so it will b fairer....

go ahead n imagine all the diff positions tat ur gal haf wz all her ex....
u r simply unfair to urself n ur gal due to ur insecurities(mayb both physival n emotionals)....

miamiyako

most girls give in to their bfs for sex cuz they really love them. for me, i also gave my first to my current bf cuz i know i really love him, and vice versa. but i also find it hard to just forget that i'm ranked over 10th in his list. we're together for already more than 2 years. he even has intention of marrying me. i feel that since everything is in the past and the future matters more, so why not just try to forget about the unhappy or things which you dislike. anyways you're so confident in this relationship, don't spoil it just cuz of this.

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Be good & I'll be true.[/font]

~sakuranbo~

geez... should i be getting upset that my bf had his first when he was 15 and he was my first??

and don't even go on telling me that guys and girls are different! that's double standard.

don't go let something that happened so many years ago spoil whatever you 2 already built. it's not even worth it.. what matters is the present and the future

Ahhui

ya lor..now adays people getting more and more open..if u really love her..den forget about her past...as long as she stays faithful to you thats good enough le ..=).dun think too much..be open abit as well..