What if you hate your bestie's guy? - Singapore's Online Community

~sakuranbo~ · 01-07-2007, 12:59 AM

My best friend got herself a boyfriend quite long after the last one that didn't work out. However, i really dislike that guy.. and it's quite sad, because she brings him out, or he asked to tag along most of them time when we meet.

I find him really rude to my friend like dun respect her much, childish cos i've always heard of his tantrums like we meet without him and somehow 2 of them will quarrel, and that's just really childish.

I really disapprove, but i know it's not up to me. I just find that my friend got herself a son instead of a new bf! And since i dun like him, naturally i wouldn't like it when it's just us 3 girls(always in a group) and he tags along! i dun even bring my bf cos i feel we girls hardly get to spend quality time together, so we should just be alone..

How can i put it across that i really just want to spend time with them girls, minus that newly adopted son? It's like when they mention he'll be there.. i will end up missing the date cos i really dun like him ard..

**xiaopillow-** · 01-07-2007, 01:02 AM

maybe you can sit down with her and talk to her about this matter..

**YOURLOVER** · 01-07-2007, 01:03 AM

haha i understand your position btw perhaps the guy is too possessive or what.
maybe he jus want more time with your friend or sth.

~sakuranbo~ · 01-07-2007, 01:07 AM

	Quote:			Originally Posted by dnaicedstarz
	haha i understand your position btw perhaps the guy is too possessive or what. maybe he jus want more time with your friend or sth.

ya, but we only meet once in a while.. sometimes we even have to chope time slot 2 weeks in advance..

so in reality he has so much time with her la.. like we go out, he will say he wanna go cos he miss her alrdy.. so irritating...............

	Quote:			Originally Posted by xiaopillow-
	maybe you can sit down with her and talk to her about this matter..

I dunno how to start man.. like scared it'd harm our friendship more than anything..

**YOURLOVER** · 01-07-2007, 01:11 AM

make it a strictly girls only event la

**sex-on-heels** · 01-07-2007, 03:12 AM

He's a possessive and clingy boyfriend man.

But he could be really good to your friend behind the scenes, perhaps that's why she fell for him in the first place.

You don't have to like him since it's not like he's gonna be your boyfriend but I think it is rather frustrating that you have to share your best friend with a person you don't like. So why not try liking him? Start by say, talking to him? Build a rapport first so that he will like you in return. And then, everything will be easier from then on.

And if you really want to spend time with the girls only, try inviting your girlies but insisting that it's a girls only affair (like what dnalcedstarz said) and insisting that you guys have not spent exclusive time for a long time since the boyfriend came into the picture.

But do make it a compromise that you will still hang out with the boyfriend and her sometimes since your bestie might be upset to know that you don't like her boyfriend. I mean, she wants to keep two closest people with her, and thus the get-together.

Do talk to her too. Tell her you miss the alone time, doing activities that girls used to do without the presence of another guy (in a jokingly manner, list out some stuff that is restricted to girlie fun and show her how guys are just meddlesome). That you miss the times when she was single and swinging free and having no serious commitment except to the friendship. Hopefully she will understand.

Hope things get better! He could be a nice guy deep inside. =)

shingshing · 01-07-2007, 03:19 AM

That's a really....clingy kind of bf. I tok guys love to have some private space?

But ya, I understand how u feel. I've got a friend who's bf stick to her 24hrs a day (physically and via phone) for everyday. Even a simple 1 to 2hr catch-up-session with her, his bf also tag along. I find that really irritating. But the guy is ok throughout our girls' conversation. I just dislike him for not being "considerate" to spare the girls some private moments.

What to do...the guy is her bf and not mine. So long my friend is happy, i'm ok.

**Shyraiiyann** · 01-07-2007, 03:22 AM

er? i normally dont care abt my bestie's bf, most of the time my besties are guys, so their gf i dun realli care,

add in friendster, smile smile in real life, talk abit lor.

if i reali hate, i think i will keep mum la, i mean, if there's no love there's no hate bah, maybe u just cant stand the sight of him,
if u tell ur friend, u gonna force her into a vr difficult position,
den when meet ups or wad,
either friend or bf,
got friend no bf
got bf no friend situation,

~sakuranbo~ · 01-07-2007, 03:30 AM

ya lor, i know if i voice out i will send her into a difficult position.. but it's super irritating when he's around!! cannot talk about some issues too cos there's a guy around, and i'm not exactly comfortable around him.. i usually don't have problems with my friends' bfs... well, until this buay auto guy comes along.....

can't gossip you know!!! -_-

**uyen** · 01-07-2007, 03:35 PM

I think he is possessive and he he wants your friend all for himself.Try not to meet them if only just you and the 2 of them,because your friend love the both of you and dont want let let anyone feels left out.

**fuyumi** · 01-07-2007, 04:34 PM

Sometimes you can do it in a indirect manner. Like asking her if shes fine with her bf, how are things going on, etc. Try to be a little sympathetic on her side and see if there maybe more arousing problems that maybe adding to her stress. The last thing a good friend needs if to be sandwiched in the centre. As friends, we need to be understanding sometimes.

**Shyraiiyann** · 01-07-2007, 05:10 PM

i suddenly realise this point,

maybe he is trying to know more about his gf's friends!

thats wad my bf told me. some guys wan to see if their gf de friends are good friends or mixin wif wrong ppl.
be friendly, treat him normally, ocasionally kid around say "aiyah, got guy here weird weird to say. paiseh la" this kind of thing, laugh with him,
and see how it gets after a while.
maybe the bf sorta feel he is being disliked, tts why he tryin to prove himself. which makes it worse. might be this also.

**syndrisrocks!** · 01-07-2007, 05:55 PM

i used to dislike one of my best fren's boyfriend but now i realised he's actually quite alrite and funny lol.

my boyfriend dun relli lyk to mix wif mi and my girlfriends cos he dun understand wat we are talking abt smtyms (literally, cos he's a malay) plus they always disturb him -.-