fuyumi

THEIRS used to be a rocky marriage marred by frequent arguments, and physical and mental abuse.

It was also 'bland like plain water', as love had fizzled out between them.

But now, the relationship between Wong Lih Tyng and her husband Mr Ting S Y is as 'sweet as the bandung drink'.

Ironically, what rekindled the love in their marriage was what Wong did last August when she delivered a stillborn baby boy and later dumped him in a staff locker at a supermarket in Bishan.

The 37-year-old was placed on 15 months' probation yesterday.

Mr Ting, 40, a hawker, said the incident, which he described as a 'family tragedy', has brought the couple closer.

'Our relationship used to be like plain water. But now it's like bandung, sweet and rich,' he said.

He said he now tries to show more concern for Wong, who was deeply affected and depressed by her actions for some time and recovered only in the last two months.

Mr Ting said he also tries to spend more time at home after work.

He said Wong has been helping out at his porridge stall again recently and that the couple has also gone out regularly for movies and meals.

The incident has also strengthened the bond between them and their daughter, a 19-year-old polytechnic student.

He said his daughter also doesn't blame her mother and has shown more concern for her.

But things were not so rosy in the past.

The couple were on the brink of divorce, said Mr Ting, as details of their troubled marriage came out in court yesterday.

Wong had hidden her pregnancy from him because she was fearful that it would anger him and result in physical abuse from him.

She also knew her husband, who made her go through two earlier abortions, didn't want another child due to the family's financial difficulties.

District Judge Bala Reddy sentenced Wong to 15 months' probation yesterday.

She also has to perform 80 hours of community service and attend counselling sessions with her husband.

At first, the couple wore a worried look as the judge revealed details of their marriage, based on a probation report.

NO JAIL SENTENCE

But a look of relief came over their faces when the couple learnt that Wong, who pleaded guilty in April, had escaped jail.

She could have been jailed up to two years, fined or both for concealing the birth of a stillborn baby by disposing of the body.

Wong, who also has to continue treatment at the Institute of Mental Health, was fighting back tears in the dock when she heard the sentence.

She later hugged her lawyer, Mr Subhas Anandan, in the courtroom.

She told reporters that she wants to put the past behind her.

Mr Ting later spoke to The New Paper and admitted that spousal beating was frequent in the early years of their marriage.

He revealed that he would slap and kick his wife when they quarrelled, usually over 'small things'.

The beating stopped in recent years, said Mr Ting, as he had 'grown up' and become more mature.

But unknown to him, his wife continued to live silently in fear and subservience to him.

The same fear drove her to conceal her pregnancy from him and to dump the baby.

The judge said: 'The accused came across as a quiet person who was subservient to her husband.

'She had led a life of being dominated by him and being subjected to both physical and mental abuse by him.'

Wong learnt to cope with her feelings and anxieties by suppressing them so as to avoid having to deal with them, added the judge.

'It appeared that she had dealt with her pregnancy and the stillbirth of her child in this mode until it spiralled out of control,' said the judge.

Right after the incident, Mr Ting suspected that the spousal beating could have led to Wong's actions.

She confirmed it when he asked her.

That is why Mr Ting said he has never blamed his wife, who tried to apologise for what she did.

He said: 'She said she was sorry for causing so much inconvenience and trouble for the family.

'But I've never blamed her. I blame myself instead because I know what I did in the past indirectly led to her actions.'

He said he suspected that his wife was pregnant early last year and asked her aboutit.

But he didn't press her further when she denied it.

It was not the first time that Wong had hidden a pregnancy from her husband.

She had been pregnant with their daughter for six months before she told him.

The couple were secondary schoolmates who married in 1988 when Mr Ting was still serving NS.

GIVE HER THE BEST

He said he made Wong go through two earlier abortions due to the family's financial difficulties.

Mr Ting declined to reveal the family income.

He said: 'I knew that I could afford only one child. I wanted to concentrate on only one child and to give her the best.'

Describing the past few months as stressful, the family does not want to discuss the incident again because they want to move on with life, said Mr Ting.

He said he is thankful to the defence lawyers, Mr Anandan and Mr Sunil Sudheesan, for the free legal aid.

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GreenSn0w

wow that's great!!!
happy endin..happy for them ^^