Failed relationship again and again - Singapore's Online Community

**dawgbyte** · 30-08-2007, 12:30 AM

After a few unsuccessful r/s sometimes we get bitter and swear off that all women (or men) are the same. But ever wonder if the problem is within? Repeating the same mistake and getting attracted to the same type of girls or perhaps falling for someone who reminds us of the an ex in the past. Or unconsciously comparing the past? In the end we keep looking for love at the wrong places.

**superxiaoji** · 30-08-2007, 12:31 AM

	Quote:			Originally Posted by dawgbyte
	After a few unsuccessful r/s sometimes we get bitter and swear off that all women (or men) are the same. But ever wonder if the problem is within? Repeating the same mistake and getting attracted to the same type of girls or perhaps falling for someone who reminds us of the an ex in the past. Or unconsciously comparing the past? In the end we keep looking for love at the wrong places.

For me, i know i'm not a qualified lover :biggrin4:

**noti.** · 30-08-2007, 08:43 AM

	Quote:			Originally Posted by superxiaoji
	For me, i know i'm not a qualified lover :biggrin4:

aww man. Don't be too hard on yourself. Nobody is unqualified. Have to be confident of yourself ^^

**noti.** · 30-08-2007, 08:46 AM

	Quote:			Originally Posted by dawgbyte
	After a few unsuccessful r/s sometimes we get bitter and swear off that all women (or men) are the same. But ever wonder if the problem is within? Repeating the same mistake and getting attracted to the same type of girls or perhaps falling for someone who reminds us of the an ex in the past. Or unconsciously comparing the past? In the end we keep looking for love at the wrong places.

I do agree with your statements. For a period of time after I got dumped over and over again, I hated every single guy and I didn't trust any of them. It felt that they were just out to cheat my feelings after having enough fun with me.

I do suppose problem lies within - to a certain extent. Over the years, I've come to forgive these guys. I mean, I was at a age when I was attracted to "that" kind of guys and kinda naive towards relationships or just plain childish. But now, turning back to look at it, it wouldn't have lasted anyway. Unconsciously comparing the past is something that's so hard to avoid. How can you not compare? Even though how much I tell myself that individuals are all different, I still compare ... at least it's not as frequent already lah.

It's just like when you start a new relationship, you've had a certain expectation of how a guy/girl should treat you/be treated. Where do you get that expectation from? Isn't it comparing or using the past relationship as a gauge?

**Peuan Sanit** · 30-08-2007, 09:00 AM

You have just not met you Mr or Ms Right yet. Both of you are destined or fated not to have met yet. No person is an island.

Be patience as you can't hurry love.

**noti.** · 30-08-2007, 10:26 AM

yup! so true. I've always have friends asking me to "intro" some girls/guys to them.. but how to? I mean, it normally doesn't work out this way.

**dawgbyte** · 30-08-2007, 10:27 AM

I have a close friend that whenever she throws a tantrum, her ex always run after her and console her and such. She tried that with her new bf but this guy did not run after her... so she wondered.. eh? how come? So she told her bf that her ex treats her better, and he replied he is not her ex. Anyway, they are married now.

	Quote:			Originally Posted by noti.
	I do agree with your statements. For a period of time after I got dumped over and over again, I hated every single guy and I didn't trust any of them. It felt that they were just out to cheat my feelings after having enough fun with me. I do suppose problem lies within - to a certain extent. Over the years, I've come to forgive these guys. I mean, I was at a age when I was attracted to "that" kind of guys and kinda naive towards relationships or just plain childish. But now, turning back to look at it, it wouldn't have lasted anyway. Unconsciously comparing the past is something that's so hard to avoid. How can you not compare? Even though how much I tell myself that individuals are all different, I still compare ... at least it's not as frequent already lah. It's just like when you start a new relationship, you've had a certain expectation of how a guy/girl should treat you/be treated. Where do you get that expectation from? Isn't it comparing or using the past relationship as a gauge?

**dawgbyte** · 30-08-2007, 10:32 AM

Its true that you can't hurry love but there is also the biological clock that is ticking. No one can pray and wait to win lottery without going out to buy 4D. And for anyone to win 4D with buying 1 ticket in their lifetime is very very rare. The point is, will you bet the same number over and over again, hoping that this time you can get it right?

	Quote:			Originally Posted by Peuan Sanit
	You have just not met you Mr or Ms Right yet. Both of you are destined or fated not to have met yet. No person is an island. Be patience as you can't hurry love.

**noti.** · 30-08-2007, 10:51 AM

	Quote:			Originally Posted by dawgbyte
	I have a close friend that whenever she throws a tantrum, her ex always run after her and console her and such. She tried that with her new bf but this guy did not run after her... so she wondered.. eh? how come? So she told her bf that her ex treats her better, and he replied he is not her ex. Anyway, they are married now.

Oh my that's such a wrong thing to say. How can you go "my ex treats me better" -___________-" But it's good that they're married now.

**superxiaoji** · 30-08-2007, 12:25 PM

	Quote:			Originally Posted by noti.
	I do agree with your statements. For a period of time after I got dumped over and over again, I hated every single guy and I didn't trust any of them. It felt that they were just out to cheat my feelings after having enough fun with me. I do suppose problem lies within - to a certain extent. Over the years, I've come to forgive these guys. I mean, I was at a age when I was attracted to "that" kind of guys and kinda naive towards relationships or just plain childish. But now, turning back to look at it, it wouldn't have lasted anyway. Unconsciously comparing the past is something that's so hard to avoid. How can you not compare? Even though how much I tell myself that individuals are all different, I still compare ... at least it's not as frequent already lah. It's just like when you start a new relationship, you've had a certain expectation of how a guy/girl should treat you/be treated. Where do you get that expectation from? Isn't it comparing or using the past relationship as a gauge?

i heard this before: Men love to lie, Women love to tear

so .... don't simply believe a word spoken by men, or by me :biggrin4:

**sgalextoh** · 30-08-2007, 04:57 PM

	Quote:			Originally Posted by superxiaoji
	i heard this before: Men love to lie, Women love to tear so .... don't simply believe a word spoken by men, or by me :biggrin4:

I must re-phase your quote. Men love to lie, but not all. Women love to tear, and that's majority.

**Shyraiiyann** · 30-08-2007, 05:56 PM

Mine too.
just that, it only gets better and better, coz i kind of figured wad i can stand, cannot stand, like, dont like.

**killtheblackkat** · 30-08-2007, 06:02 PM

can only say we shouldnt rush lor. actually keep rushing for what? should open eyes bigger and understand that there are many other people in life who needs your attention more.

whats meant to come will come someday and whats meant to stay with you will never leave you.

**nomad** · 30-08-2007, 06:07 PM

do not be dishearted by those failures..
carry-on trying and you will surely find him/her.
there is an Chinese's saying :

Defeat Is The Mother Of All Success !!!