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01-07-2007, 03:15 AM
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#1 (permalink)
| | Experienced SGClubber
Join Date: Jun 2007 Posts: 4,516 Gender: 
Total SGC$: 6,293.38 |  couple of heavenly jokes..
Marriage In Heaven
On their way to get married, a young couple are involved in a fatal car
accident. The couple soon find themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates
waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven. While waiting, they
begin to wonder: Could they possibly get married in Heaven?
When St. Peter shows up, they asked him. St. Peter says, "I don't know.
This is the first time anyone has asked. Let me go find out," and he leaves.
The couple sat and waited for an answer... for a couple of months. While
they waited, they discussed that if they were allowed to get married in
Heaven, should they get married, what with the eternal aspect of it all.
"What if it doesn't work?" they wondered, "Are we stuck together FOREVER?"
After yet another month, St. Peter finally returns, looking somewhat
bedraggled. "Yes," he informs the couple, "you can get married in Heaven."
"Great!" said the couple, "But we were just wondering, what if things don't
work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?"
St. Peter, red-faced with anger, slams his clipboard onto the ground.
"What's wrong?" asked the frightened couple.
"OH, COME ON!!" St. Peter shouts, "It took me three months to find a
priest up here! Do you have ANY idea how long it'll take me to find a lawyer?"
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God Speaks to Bill
God appeared in a dream to the Pope, Bill Clinton, and Bill Gates. He
told them, "I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is
that I exist. The bad news is that I will end the world in 30 days."
The Pope woke his staff and said, "I have some good news and some good
news. The good news is that we were right all along, God exists. The
other good news is that we'll be going to heaven in 30 days."
Bill Clinton woke his staff and said, "I have some good news and some
bad news. The good news is that God is on our side. The bad news is
that the world will end in 30 days."
Bill Gates woke his staff and said, "I have some good news and some
great news. The good news is that God thinks I'm an important guy. The
great news is that we won't have to attend any more Windows 95/98/NT/XP
complaints."  Life is full of ups and downs. But one has to learn how to stand up on his own and continue his path to attaining enlightment...:mellow3: :mellow3:
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01-07-2007, 10:29 AM
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#2 (permalink)
| | Experienced SGClubber
Join Date: Jun 2007 Posts: 1,942 Gender:
Total SGC$: 515.05 |  Re: couple of heavenly jokes..
LOLs | |
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01-07-2007, 11:59 AM
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#3 (permalink)
| | Experienced SGClubber
Join Date: Nov 2006 Posts: 1,087 Gender:
Total SGC$: 45.30 | Re: couple of heavenly jokes..
hahahha.
mess with the best, die like the rest.
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01-07-2007, 05:48 PM
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#4 (permalink)
| | Pink princess
Join Date: Jun 2007 Posts: 1,283 Gender: 
Total SGC$: 392.77 | Re: couple of heavenly jokes..
LOL. Bill gates one is the funniest noe People that don't know me thinks I'm shy.
People that do know me wish I were.
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25-07-2007, 07:08 PM
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#5 (permalink)
| | Cool SGClubber
Join Date: Jul 2007 Posts: 955 Gender:
Total SGC$: 1,891.70 | Match Made in Heaven
A young couple were driving down the road one day, happily, deliriously in love and due to be married the next day. Suddenly, a large truck swerved from the oncoming lanes into their car! BOOM! And they both died.
At the Pearly Gates, the young couple confronted St. Peter. "Sir, you have to help us! We were to be married tomorrow. Is there any way we can be married in Heaven?"
"Hmmm," replied St. Peter, "I don't recall there ever being a marriage in Heaven. Well, let's take it up with God and see what he says."
So they approached God with their plea. God sat for a moment, pondering the request. Then he looked down and said, "Come back in five years and ask me again."
Five years later, the couple approached God again, even more in love than ever and pleading that he allow their marriage. God paused for quite a while, musing over their request. Then he spoke, "Come back in five years and ask me again."
And once again, five years later, the couple was again in the presence of God, more in love than ever and begging God's permission for the third time to marry. This time God smiled broadly and thundered, "Yes my children, you may marry!"
Well, the wedding went off beautifully, the reception was huge, everyone thought the bride was simply breathtaking and the groom was soooo handsome, and everyone was happy! Until...
Two years later, the couple was back before God, and things were not looking so good. The couple had come to the realization almost immediately that although marriages were made in heaven, they didn't last very long there! And, in spite of their struggles to come to terms with the situation, they had decided there simply was no alternative but to get a divorce.
Black clouds fractured by lightening rolled across the sky, and the ground shook with explosive thunder. God glared down at the tiny couple before him, his face becoming dark and angry, and he roared, "Divorce?! Impossible!!! It took us TEN years just to find a priest in Heaven! Do you have any idea how long it will take to find a LAWYER?!!" | |
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25-07-2007, 08:00 PM
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#6 (permalink)
| | GERALDINET
Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 3,219 Gender:
Total SGC$: 1,513.52 | Re: Match Made in Heaven
lOL!!!
no wonder they wait so long for marriage.
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25-07-2007, 09:18 PM
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#7 (permalink)
| | Registered Members
Join Date: Jul 2007 Posts: 31 Gender:
Total SGC$: 24.00 | Re: Match Made in Heaven
maybe they can find the lawyer in hell? | |
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25-07-2007, 09:54 PM
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#8 (permalink)
| | Monster.Leen
Join Date: Mar 2007 Posts: 5,440 Gender:
Total SGC$: 2,949.35 | Re: Match Made in Heaven
hahaha...den they nee to wait for 10 more years | |
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26-07-2007, 01:33 AM
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#9 (permalink)
| | Experienced SGClubber
Join Date: Jun 2007 Posts: 4,516 Gender:
Total SGC$: 6,293.38 | Re: Match Made in Heaven
saw a similar joke..trying to hint that no lawyers will go to heavens..haha Life is full of ups and downs. But one has to learn how to stand up on his own and continue his path to attaining enlightment...:mellow3: :mellow3:
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26-07-2007, 09:27 AM
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#10 (permalink)
| | 소원
Join Date: Jun 2007 Posts: 13,840 Gender:
Total SGC$: 11,135.16 | Re: Match Made in Heaven
need to wait such a long time @@ 人情味不是偏私而是博爱，
不是施舍而是关怀。
不是表面的礼貌，
而是内心的尊重。 Friends will bail you out of jail.but Best Friends will be sitting by you saying, " that was awesome !" | |
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26-07-2007, 05:29 PM
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#11 (permalink)
| | Addicted SGClubber
Join Date: Apr 2007 Posts: 855 Gender:
Total SGC$: 861.34 | Re: Match Made in Heaven
haha. at 1st i thought GOD wants to test their relationship but he was actually waiting for a priest to be in heaven. Good 1. LOL. | |
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26-07-2007, 05:32 PM
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#12 (permalink)
| | Experienced SGClubber
Join Date: Jun 2007 Posts: 3,953 Gender:
Total SGC$: 1,316.36 | Re: Match Made in Heaven
repost... got similiar thread... =P
anyway... a nice one... =D
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29-07-2007, 11:14 PM
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#13 (permalink)
| | White Angel
Join Date: Jun 2007 Posts: 783 Gender: Location: Eastern Singapore
Total SGC$: 834.80 | Re: Match Made in Heaven
lol..i also tot GOD was putting them thru a test of time to test how strong their love is..didnt expect GOD is waiting for a priest..haha.. | |
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30-07-2007, 05:47 PM
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#14 (permalink)
| | mysterious
Join Date: Jun 2007 Posts: 1,906 Gender:
Total SGC$: 108.50 | Re: Match Made in Heaven
LOL, quite funny
Last edited by devalicious : 30-07-2007 at 05:48 PM.
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30-07-2007, 07:56 PM
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#15 ( | |
