APPLICATION FOR A NIGHT OUT WITH THE KAKIS

Name of Husband:__________________________________________ _

I request permission for a leave of absence from the highest authority in my life for the following period:
Date:_______________ Time of departure:________________
Time of return NOT to exceed:_______________________

Should permission be granted, I do solemnly swear to only visit the locations stated below, at the stated times. I agree to refrain from hitting on or flirting with other women. I shall not even speak to another female, except as expressly permitted in writing below. I will not turn off my mobile after two pints, nor shall I consume above the allowed volume of alcohol without first phoning for a taxi AND calling you for a verbal waiver of said alcohol allowance. I understand that even if permission is granted to go out, my wife retains the right to be pissed off with me the following week for no valid reason whatsoever.


Amount of alcohol allowed (units): Beer________
Wine________
Liquor_______
Total_______
Locations to be visited:
Location:__________________From:______To:______
Location:__________________From:______To:______
Location:__________________From:______To:______

Females with whom conversation is permitted: __________________________________________________ __________________________________________________ ______________________________

IMPORTANT – STRIPPER & GEYLANG CLAUSE: Notwithstanding the female contact permitted above, I promise to refrain from coming within one hundred (100) feet of a stripper, exotic dancer or Geylang area. Violation of this Stripper & Geylang Clause shall be grounds for immediate termination of the relationship.

I acknowledge my position in life. I know who wears the trousers in our relationship, and I agree it’s not me. I promise to abide by your rules & regulations. I understand that this is going to cost me a fortune in chocolates & flowers. You reserve the right to obtain and use my credit cards whenever you wish to do so. I hereby promise to take you on an unlimited shopping spree, should I not return home by the approved time. On my way home, I will not pick a fight with any stranger, nor shall I conduct in depth discussions with the said entity. Upon my return home, I promise not to urinate anywhere other than in the toilet. In addition, I will refrain from waking you up, breathing my vile breath in your face, and attempting to breed like a (drunken) rabbit.

I declare that to the best of my knowledge (of which I have none compared to my BETTER half), the above information is correct.
Signed - Husband:
____________________
Note- This document and all trivial details of this event will be retained for a minimum of 20 years for quick reference in any future discussion relevant or otherwise. Extenuating details of this event are subject to change without notice depending on fit and suitability for future discussions.

Request is: APPROVED__________ DENIED___________
This decision is not negotiable. If approved, cut permission slip below and carry at all times.
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………
Permission for my husband to be away for the following period of time:
Date:_____________ Time of departure:_________________ Time of return:__________________

Signed –Wife:
____________________