Altumangel

The following is an accident report that was printed in the newsletter of the British equivalent of the Workers Compensation Board.

Dear Sir:

I am writing in response to your request for additional information in Block #3 of the accident report form. I put "Poor Planning" as the cause of my accident. You asked for a fuller explanation and I trust the following details will be sufficient.

I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was working alone on the roof of a new six-story building. When I completed my work, I found I had some bricks left over which, when weighed later, were found to be slightly in excess of 500 lbs. Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them in a barrel by using a pulley which was attached to the side of the building at the sixth floor.

Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to the roof, swung the barrel out and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went down and untied the rope, holding it tightly to insure a slow descent of the bricks.

You will note in block #11 of the accident report form that my weight is 135 lbs. Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the building.

In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel, which was now proceeding downward at an equally impressive speed. This explains the fractured skull, minor abrasions and the broken collarbone, as listed in Section 3 of the accident report form.

Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until
the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley.

Fortunately by this time I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold tightly to the rope, in spite of the excruciating pain I was now beginning to experience. At approximately the same time however, the barrel of bricks hit the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Now devoid of the weight of the bricks, the barrel weighed approximately 50 lbs. I refer you again to my weight.

As you might imagine, I began a rapid descent down the side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up.

This accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth and severe lacerations of my legs and lower body.

Here my luck began to change slightly. The encounter with the barrel seemed to slow me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell into the pile of bricks and fortunately only three vertebrae were cracked.

I am sorry to report however, as I lay there on the pile of bricks in pain, unable to move, I again lost my composure and presence of mind and let go of the rope. I lay there watching the empty barrel begin its journey back down to me. This explains the two broken legs.

This explains why I cited "poor planning" as the cause of the accident.

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princesstaqinah

Not poor planning... this is unlucky!

People that don't know me thinks I'm shy.
People that do know me wish I were.


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genzo2106

hmm..this is a repeated joke:confused2:

Life is full of ups and downs. But one has to learn how to stand up on his own and continue his path to attaining enlightment...:mellow3: :mellow3:

My articles at HELIUM:mellow3:

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sgalextoh

I'm not too sure if you guys notice this....
She keeps posting "new" thread and then dissapear....

KaLeen

really meh,but her jokes sometimes repeated de

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MaYdaY 五月天 MaYdaY 五月天 MaYdaY 五月天

princesstaqinah

she spam lah... she only post 215 times but she got SGC$656.30... that is certainly spamming. Altumangel, i already told u that if u really have a lot of jokes to post, can u just post it on one thread? Coz u're flooding the laugh out loud page leh... just consolidate them on one thread lah... like scorpi0x. He post jokes to brighten our day... not to earn SGC$...

People that don't know me thinks I'm shy.
People that do know me wish I were.


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