boaz

Communication is often cited as the number one problem area in a relationship. If two people understand this, and are working towards having great communication, then how can they still run into problems? The reason is there may be many unknown factors contributing to the demise of a couple's communication. In this article we'll take a look at ten possible communication blocks that may be happening in your relationship.


Language
If you or your partner speaks a different first language, there can be a lot of semantic misunderstandings that may or may not be obvious. If you feel you're not being understood, really take the time to explain what you are trying to communicate.


Culture
With the Internet helping bridge gaps across territorial boundaries that once existed, this block is more important than ever. Just because you grew up with a certain philosophy about something, does not guarantee your partner did the same. Don't assume you know what your partner is thinking of or feeling about a certain issue. If you find yourselves on different sides of a disagreement, take the time to find out why they view it so differently. It could very well be they were brought up to believe things differently. Respect their choices and try and find some common ground you can both work from.


Truth, Or The Lack Of
One of the main culprits of blocking communication is the lack of truth and honesty. This is true even if you tell yourself that it isn't dishonest if you withhold a truth. For proper communication to be established, both parties involved need to be aware of everything relevant. Otherwise, one partner is always going to be hindered.


False Pretenses
This block is pretty self-explanatory. If someone tells you they are something they are not, chances are you're going to find out about it sooner or later, and not be too happy about it.


Expectations
What are your expectations of each other? How many times have you had disagreements about what you each expect from the other? If you don't clearly lay down what you both expect from each other in the roles you play (father, mother, lover, boyfriend, girlfriend, etc.) you will run into this disagreement fairly often.


Misunderstandings
The bulk of disagreements come down to one single thing, misunderstandings. One person interpreted something differently; the other assumed they understood what they were saying. If you are in a disagreement find out as soon as possible what the misunderstanding is. You'll save yourself some very unhappy moments!


History (Past Experiences)
Most people apply the philosophy of let the past be my guide. Well this is great unless your past is riddled with mistrust, abuse or any other negative experiences. Remember your partner is someone new; don't compare him or her to a past experience.


On A Pedestal
If you find yourself thinking you are better (overall) than your partner, you're setting your relationship up for failure. How is it possible to accept any communication from someone you don't have respect for?


Aloofness
How do you kill a conversation in two seconds or less? Talk to someone too aloof to reciprocate any comments. Aloofness can indicate the person has shut down on some level. If you notice your partner doing this, try asking them more self-opinionated questions such as: how do you want to handle this, or what do you really think about this? Obviously this won't work if you ask them with an obvious attitude attached.


Third Party
How can you effectively communicate with someone if you have to, in effect, talk to two or possibly more people? This is the case of someone who's been third partied. Not only do you have to allay your partner's fears or concerns, but that of someone else's--usually without even talking to them. The most successful of relationships happen when the couple makes a strong commitment to never let anyone else contribute negativity to the relationship.

Do say sorry when you are in the wrong.

1. Spend personal time with your spouse. Take time to be with each other like dating, going for movie. This is especially important for couple with kids. Once a week is a good measure.

2. Learn to forgive (something I learn recently). Nobody is perfect. Love overlook many shortcomings. It takes a lot of loving, tender care to nurture that positive relationship between husband/wife.

To communicate at the right time & moment.
Try to catch your partner not when he's busy, tired or
moody to communicate to him/her on issues to be
resolved.

1. Use sms to communicate as & when during the day, even love smses to her during the day.
2. Set a friday evening with your spouse for a night out or a walk in the park, ask your in laws to take care of your kids.
3. Send emails to each other during the day.
4. Write down expectations between each other every month or weekly.
5. Call & chat during lunch times.
6. Look into her eyes & pay attention to what she says during communicating.
7. Share with your spouse your dreams, expectations, financial goals & worries or cares every evening.

Tips for better communication: 3A's
Affirmation (Praise)
Affection
Attention

By identifying the main love language of my spouse eg he loves to know he's appreciated.
Seizing any opportunity to give words of affirmation ie when he had made effort to make our lives easier like helping out in doing the 'heavy duty' housework tasks.


Sometimes, it helps to write a simple note about our feelings, what we want from the other partner, suggestions to do things together, etc when the need arises. The note must be short and to the point and won’t take too long to read though it may take long to think about writing something appropriate..

fuyumi

These are really good tips. Thanks for sharing.

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