Emotional Intelligence


All humans are emotional. The way we deal with one another is on an emotional level and it is extremely important to us. Our emotions are powerful and they determine all the other aspects of our behavior and the impact it has on the other people around us. The way we communicate with others all depends on the emotional carousel that we are on. Hence, in order to improve our life we need to be in charge of our emotions and be emotionally intelligent. The quality of our lives depends on how well we are able to harness our emotions.

Any self help book that you were to pick up will let you know about emotional intelligence. It certainly is the topic of the shelves. We must learn to control our emotions before it becomes the other way round.

The word emotional intelligence was first used by Pete Salovey who is a psychologist at Yale and John Mayer of the University of New Hampshire. They went on to tell us about the qualities that help us understand the feelings of the people around us. They are empathy, understanding and so forth. Previously, it was only the person’ IQ that was taken into consideration whereas nowadays EQ is given equal importance. The happier you want to become in life the better you must be at maintaining your own emotions and judging the other person effectively.

You will be able to generate emotional awareness by becoming aware of your own thoughts and feelings. There is a connection between feelings and our actions and to be able to see them will guide us towards success. In order to do so you must be honest with yourself and sift out the petty from the crucial. You must have confidence in yourself and be comfortable in communicating your feelings to those around you.
You must be empathetic towards the other people around you. Listen to them and pay close attention to what they say and how they say it. Emotional sensitivity will enable you to forge long lasting relationships. You will not only focus towards your individual goals but collective goals as well. This will generate a feeling of well being internally and externally for you too.

Learn to manage your emotions: Start taking responsibility and ownership for your actions. You can’t be blaming someone else or the circumstances at all times. Pursuit of happiness is important. Set goals for yourself that are realistic and hence achievable. Research has shown that the human body is such that it feels before it thinks. We all do this as it is a natural instinct deeply rooted in all of us. Being aware of yourself and the way you react will enable you to deal with feelings better. Self control will be a part of that exercise. Coping techniques such as breathing deeply, talking slowly and tapping your foot to slower down will be a part of you. Learn to remain positive come what may. Do not let negative emotions overtake you. Keep pessimism at bay. Look at obstacles as learning opportunities that you can grow with.

Lastly, remember that it is not about the tricks of manipulation. You need to know the feelings of the others around you and yours and act with integrity after taking it into consideration. People can be book smart or street smart but the winners have that plus emotional intelligence on their side. The balance that one is able to strike between all of these will make them a successful trapeze artist of life. People who practice this are looked up as great thought inspiring leaders who lead from the front. Everyone who is in their presence is treated with due respect.

If you have emotional intelligence you will have a high amount of confidence in your abilities. No amount of life’s travails will diminish that. Also, you will be happy and upbeat at all times. You will understand the nitty gritties of life and learn to deal with those successfully.

Ways in which you can improve emotional intelligence are:

• Become accountable for your happiness. It is certainly in your hands how you feel.
• Look within rather than trying to put the buck somewhere else.
• Learn strategies to help you deal with the downslides in life. Do not let your emotions overrun you.
• Every negative situation must be looked as an opportunity to learn and move on.
• Practice being honest with yourself. Acknowledge negative feelings and look for their root cause.
• Respect everyone around you.
• Do not go close to people who do not acknowledge your feelings and respect you.
• Listen more than you speak.
• Learn to judge body language. Look for facial expressions, gestures and tone.
• Remember that it is a skill and needs to be worked at. You will end up emotionally intelligent by practicing all of these.




  1. I’ve been hearing a lot about this and have been looking for a well-written definition of emotional intelligence. I am 32 years old, and I have begun to notice some not-so mature emotional expression. This post gives me another tool on my quest for emotional intelligence.

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