8 Tips to Handle Arguments


It is a fact that none of us are perfect. When two human beings get together as life partners, there are bound to be instances of friction and disagreements. However, these should not cause any harm to the relationship and knowing how to handle them is the key towards a healthy partnership. So when you have a difference of opinion with your partner over something the next time, you will do well to keep these eight tips in mind so that the argument does not lead to anything serious.

1. Allow your partner the freedom to express himself or herself.

Just as you would hate somebody interrupting you, it is obvious that your partner would also get upset if you did not allow him or her to say what they want to say. You must respect her opinion for what it is instead of being judgmental about it. Even if what he or she says does not appeal to you, it is necessary for you to give him or her that space.

2. Try hard and put in a genuine effort to comprehend what your husband or wife wants to say or is trying to express.

it is very common for one of the partners to act as if he or she is understanding what the other partner is trying to express when it is quite the opposite. During an argument, you are so caught up with trying to impose yourself and your opinion that you tend to become oblivious to your partner and that is very disturbing for your partner. The sooner you can infuse the confidence within your partner that you have indeed understood what she or he is trying to say, you would be better off and would be able to handle the situation in a composed manner.

3. Be careful about what you say in the heat of the moment.

It is very important to keep a tight control over what you say when you are in an argument with your partner. Vey often people have said things which they regret later on and by that time the damage is already done. Relationships can survive only when they are not fraught with unpleasantness and bitterness. They can be compared to glass in the manner they need to be handled. One false step and you could end up making a crack which could take long or may not get filled at all.

4. Do not recollect or introduce past incidents into the argument.

You must remember that there is no purpose served in bringing in any past unpleasant incidents into the current argument you are having with your partner. Dwelling on them at this stage will make your partner frustrated and will only add to the tension. Since everybody makes mistakes, it is essential to forgive and forget and not add insult to injury by bringing those instances where your partner was at fault into the current argument. You should be seen and perceived as a strong support for your partner rather than someone picking on mistakes made by him or her.

5. Always be ready for a compromise.

The idea is not to always win an argument. You must be mentally prepared to go for a compromise and find areas of mutual agreement. You can take the lead in suggesting solutions which your partner can think about and agree. If for some reason your partner does not like the solution proposed by you, look for alternatives or allow him or her to suggest them as well.

6. Understand that during the argument, total agreement is difficult.

The fact that an argument broke out shows there was some cause for tension and disagreement over something that you wanted your partner to agree with you. As you try to make your partner see your point of view and meet with stiff resistance, your anger also shoots up and that flares into something unhealthy. It is therefore recommended at times to just accept your partner’s view point as well and not try to force an agreement from him or her. That will show that you respect your partner’s individuality and identity and who knows, he or she may come around and even agree with you.

7. Do not run away from the argument or give up on the discussion.

It is just too easy to sulk on your partner and lapse into silence. Ignoring your partner and not making an effort to actually discuss the contentious issue can only worsen things. The ideal way is to sit down with your partner and resolve to thrash out the issue irrespective of how long it might take. There is nothing that two individuals cannot work out if they have the commitment and enthusiasm to do so,

8. Always accord your relationship the highest priority as you work out a solution or even when you are in the middle of an argument.

The above statement does not imply that you forsake your identity and give everything to the relationship. It is just to remind you that your partner is your friend and soul mate and there is no harm at all if you give more than you get out of the relationship. As long as you have this feeling in your heart, you would not feel like exchanging cruel words or harbor any ill feelings towards your partner.

In the final analysis, relationships begin to flounder when there is no transparency and openness between the partners. If you feel bothered about something your partner has done or said, you must immediately make that known to your partner. Very often, people do not exchange such feelings and when something goes wrong, they bring it up and that only fuels the argument further. It is therefore important to deal with things however unpleasant as and when they happen rather than waiting for a new argument to break out and then talking about it. That is definitely going to sour things further and will only add to the existing tension.




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