Getting Over a Break-Up


The only person to understand and know how it feels to be broken hearted is you. We know that it is not a serious ailment but the person who has gone through it all might have a different story to tell you altogether. The recommendations given beneath will help you to heal better and get yourself out of a relationship that is just not working out for you.

Let us look at what you need to do on an everyday basis:

On the first and second day

1. Breathe deep and hard. It will be difficult to get through this first day. Remember to take it as it comes a day at one time and not more. It is alright to want to heal yourself in private. Do not go to work and sleep to give your body the well deserved respite. Eat whatever comfort food that you like and sob your heart out to get the emotions out of your system.

2. Believe in affirmations and say them aloud to yourself. Tell yourself that this is a passing phase and you will be able to get yourself out of this. Reward yourself for every time that you think positively and are getting out of it. It is alright to have loved and lost. It proves that you are human after all.

3. Take the help of a friend or family. Talk to them and vent out your feelings. Do something that you like such as a movie. This will block your mind of unwanted thoughts for a while. Watch a movie that could make you laugh or something that could make you cry your heart out.
Now that you have got past the first two days what do you do every week during the first month?

Week 1

4. Even if you are feeling as though it is the worst day of your life, drag yourself out of bed and get out of the house. Go for a cup of coffee, a long walk, talk to someone. Pursue your hobbies or those things that give you pleasure such as read, paint, listen to music. You can exercise to get those feel good endorphins flowing in your veins. Do not go near a phone which can tempt you to call the person. Same goes with emails or letters too. Take yourself out for a short weekend spree. Anything that even remotely reminds you of your ex should be bundled off pronto. Put all the photographs, nick knacks in a carton and give them away to charity. Go to your hometown to heal and spend some time reliving happy childhood memories. Visit a friend who can help you get back on track.

Week 2

5. Try and not be alone. See that you have well meaning friends around you. Make a list of all the blessings that you have in your life. This will certainly perk up your spirits and confidence too. Indulge yourself for a change. Get yourself pampered at a spa, a new hairdo or go on a restrained shopping spree. Of course, however tempted you are do not call your ex.

Week 3

6. Learn from the experience so that it does not go waste. Does it teach you how to be empathetic, deal with hard times? Do not have lots of time on hand. Start keeping yourself busy so that you do not have the time to mop around. Take up a new activity such as yoga, athletics. Give your time to some charity and you will realize that what you are mopping around for is so trivial compared to what other people have to face.

Week 4

7. Do not stop your socializing and exercising routines. Do not overly use alcohol and drugs as a crutch to dull the pain. Try to resist calling your ex just to say revengeful things. It will not help either of you. Look around and see if you might like to date someone else. Do not get entangled in a rebound relationship though. The entire cycle of sadness, anger, guilt and fear needs to be completed before you are finally free. Do not resist this as it is a part of the healing process. Write down your feelings, cry and share your concerns with others. Talk to your friends as this is a good way of voicing your feelings.

Finally, you have got through the first month. Congratulations!

Now, let us look at what you need to do for the 3 to 6 month period:

8. Get yourself to go on dates. Attraction still exists and can quicken the recovering process.

9. If at any point of time you feel you need specialized help than go and seek it. A psychiatrist can help you if you have loss of appetite, a sleeping disorder or a low self-esteem. Ask around for psychiatrist renown in treating depression.

10. Healing takes time and there is no quick fix there. Do not get overly worried if you feel sad, angry or guilty at times. These are natural feelings and in fact will help your heart get together quickly.

After a year

11. Store the entire experience somewhere at the back of your mind. Say to yourself that you did experience heart break but now it is behind you and you can move on with life.

12. If you feel that your ex and you can continue to remain friends than do so. Do not give yourself false hopes that you might get together once again. You certainly don’t want a repetition of the same cycle.