The Myth of Love at First Sight


The concept of love at first sight, though very romantic and frequently fantasized by many individuals is as deceiving as the doctors of old who once promoted cigarettes. Can two person truly fall in love with each other without knowing the other party other than their faces?

True Love?

True love can be discovered only when there is a lot of maturity, understanding of each other that can develop with passage of time, periods of conflict as well as a lot of fun times. Though some people may feel as it they have experienced love ‘at first sight’, it is definitely not what they think it is. Couples who are in love with each other know that this love has taken time to develop over the years and it is not something that is instantaneous. Some have even taken more than twenty years to cultivate genuine love and affection for their partner. Unfortunately, not everybody has the kind of patience that is required for such a commitment and often give up before they are able to experience genuine love. They are not prepared for the toil and hard work and have not prepared their mind to work on a relationship. In the absence of quick gratification, they often experience boredom and the relationship crumbles ending in a divorce. Such people also end up having an affair to break the boredom and that only makes matters worse. You have to accept that finding genuine love is a process spread over many years of trial, actions, attitudes and a lot of authentic effort.

The act of loving somebody involves seeking and holding his or her interest without compromising on your own likes and dislikes. You have to love yourself very much in order to love another person. It is only when you are aware of your own personality that you can profess love for somebody else. Shallow love or infatuation seems pretty good to start with but fails to hold its own and dies a premature death. Anything that seeks to dominate, control or manipulate cannot be considered as true love and is bound to bring disharmony into the lives of the couple, who think they are in love. The mark of true love is a lot of respect, concern, empathy, sacrifice and regard for each other and only that can sustain over time to blossom into something fantastic.

The Sacrifice of Love

Taking the example of a couple Ann and Bob who are very much in love with each other and have nurtured their relationship over time, they have been able to do so because of the fact that both of them have maintained their individual identities while respecting the other. This in no way has compromised the affection and admiration they have for each other and they have decided to love each other unconditionally. They hold true love for each other in their hearts.

Ann and Bob have managed to have a great relationship because of focusing on equality and mutual respect for each other. Both enjoy physical and mental freedom to do the things they want and are unfettered by their relationship. When they do things in isolation, they still maintain and concentrate on their shared goals and objectives they have worked out within themselves and do not let their individual success or failure ruin their relationship. In fact they support, encourage and enjoy each other’s success, do not feel threatened by it and when one of them does fail, the other is always present to share the disappointment and provide the necessary empathy as well as motivation to do better the next time. It is therefore a wonderful team effort.

Both of them are not afraid to hear the truth, however bitter it might be at times. They do not betray each other’s trust and know that each can share thoughts with the other without any inhibitions. The fact that they are so open also allows them to enjoy each other’s successes without any feeling of jealousy or suspicion. They behave like good friends and their relationship knows no fear.
They have built their relationship on the edifice of trust and faith and this is the foundation on which strong and healthy friendships flourish. Ann maintains her faithfulness not because she knows Bob or the fact that they are already in a relationship. She is like that because of her intrinsic nature and the same can be said of Bob who would have been faithful even if he had not got into this relationship with Ann. Their faithfulness and loyalty therefore has an exclusive nature to it not bound by their relationship.

They share a wonderful private world between them and this helps them to reach out to each other through the tenets of mutual respect, freedom and untainted commitment. They are aware that the unique communion they share can never be equaled by anything else and they will hold this intimacy close to themselves. They value it very highly and will continue to treasure it for many more years to come.