Is a domineering boyfriend good for you?
If you were to pick the biggest problem that plagues the dating world you would be sure to pick jealousy and domineering men. Men with low self esteem and confidence in their abilities tend to do that. They want a woman of their own to love and cherish. Once they have found just the right woman they are scared that she will become someone else’s and try everything to keep them like a horse with blinkers. This syndrome has become quite common with more and more men developing a low self esteem for various reasons.
A woman must develop a sixth sense to be able to spot men like these a mile away. The man may look gorgeous and be a real smooth talker but deep within his feet might be made of clay. The moment you spot him you will think that he is the man of your dreams until he starts trying to gain control over you and your life. The moment you spot the first instances of this kind you can drop him like a hot potato. The moment you are aware of what to spot it will be mighty easy for you.
The first instance is an important one. The man might show symptoms such as wanting to pick you up and waiting in the car until you come out. You might think what is wrong with that unless you have this feeling that your man is waiting outside for you in order to ensure that you cannot go out for a drink after work with anybody else. In case the woman wanted to go somewhere then she must inform the man. Gosh! Sounds like being a dog on a leash.
This is becoming a phenomenal problem. The major problem out here is that the deep rooted low self esteem makes the man do these funny things. They think that there is always a man who is better than them out there wanting to snatch their girl away from them. They in turn don’t trust what their women tell them and in fact think that she might be considering escaping from their clutches. This all comes from the feeling that they do not really should have someone so beautiful and good along with them. Self-worth is not one of their plus points.
Now, the man is in dire straits. They already believe that the girl wants to escape from the relationship so, how do they ensure that they stay? They try to increase their dependence on them so that they can’t live without them. They make them so dependent that they will not go anywhere without them. But, the same does not apply to the man. He might want to go out every night of the week with his pals leaving the woman at home. The love must stem for yourself otherwise you will never believe that someone else can love you. The man needs to be assured of his partners love and commitment constantly. The man will want his woman at home all the time as this will ensure that she does not meet anyone else.
As the time goes by the man who loves control will try all kinds of gimmicks to get attention. There will be scenarios created which will leave a bitter taste in your mouth. Your social life will come to an end. Rather than going out and enjoying yourself you will be at home nursing his emotional ego concern. A sense of isolation will be created wherein you will be kept away from all things normal and fun.
Now, the man has accomplished in detaching you from all your other social commitments and friends. He will be really happy about this. He is the only person you trust and that is what he likes. He will be constantly checking behind your back to see if you are thinking of ending the relationship with him. The main problem will be the constant assurance that you need to give him and demonstrate that you certainly love him and no one else. Slowly you will begin to feel claustrophobic in this kind of a relationship and want to do away with it. This is not the way you wanted life to be. You like being well-cared for and cherished but certainly not like this.
A man who is a little bit jealous and shows it can win a woman’s heart. Women like to get this feeling that their men want to protect them from any unwanted attention and want to have them all to themselves. However, when things become farfetched that is when your danger antennae should go up. Women do have this notion that if a man loves them they must show it by being slightly possessive about them. But, this should be in the right measure.
Men are becoming more wanting to control and dominate their women nowadays. This could be because of several factors. Many women are leaving the home front and going out to work. The financial independence that this fetches them is quite different from what men are used. Here they have a greater opportunity to meet more people. This makes the insecurity in their men come to the forefront faster. Men are brought up to firmly believe that they must be the bread earner and the provider for their families and have the upper hand. This is old-fashioned but not many men understand that. They try to balance the old with the changing time and make a mess of it all. Once they have that kind of a mind set and thought process they are not able to overcome that easily.
Men are not comfortable working at home. They think that that is only for women and these results in a lot of hidden emotions. Poor career progression, no financial stability, dominant parents, childhood traumas and turmoil all result in this kind of an action. They must realize that a woman is not a cattle to be owned and something that you imprison is bound to fly away.
On the other hand a man who is confident in his own abilities will not resort to these kind of tactics. He will do everything to keep his girlfriend happy and with him in more positive manner. He will give her all the possible freedom to go out with her friends, to do what she likes doing best so that their time spend together is more valuable to both of them. They know that a relationship is based on sharing and the foundation of it is trust.
Research has gone on to show that women who are extremely successful in their careers and doing well financially have extremely dominating partners waiting for them at home. Men seem to mix up possessiveness with masculine qualities, but this is hardly the case in reality. You can’t have the woman treated as inferior to you so that you can achieve your objective of gaining control over them.
In fact, the world pities jealous men for they come across as real wimps. Any woman out there does not need to bear this domineering behavior. The longer you put up with it the more difficult will it be for you to come out of it. You have a right to get the best out of your life.
Men who look really self assured might not be so from within. Once you read this article and feel hey this is exactly what I have been going through, you need to leave the men pronto. You could get the help of your friends and family as leaving a man so possessed is not going to be easy. Psychological problems are really difficult to deal with. He will do everything to make you remain that could of course include working on your weakness and emotional weak spots.
There have been quite a few women who have been in this kind of a situation and still come out sane. The more women become self-confident it has an opposite action on the men. They tend to lose their self-esteem in the limelight of the woman. Ensure that you do what is right for you. You have only one life to live and you certainly want to make the most of it. You do not need a possessive man to pull the strings for you.
Some danger signs to look out for:
- A man who persistently tells you how you should dress
- Constantly asking about your whereabouts and who you are going out with
- Coming along with you everywhere that you go
- Making plans for you or changing the plans you have made all the time
- Calling you relentlessly to find out where you are
- Not open to communicating things and discussing any concerns across the table
- Making you feel like a good for nothing at all points of time
- Lack of confidence that is visible and displayed all the time
- Overbearing and intimidating at all times
- Display of bad temper and losing one’s cool once too often
- Unreasonable behavior