Are You Lonely?


If there is one thing that human beings are finding it increasingly difficult to deal with, it is the feeling of loneliness. It is paradoxical that in these times when connectivity is not a problem at all and the world has become a global village, more and more people are feeling the pangs of loneliness all the more. Despite the fact that most of us are surrounded by people for a major portion of the day, there still remains a void that is hard to describe but keeps gnawing at us. At these times, the world does seem to become a pretty dark as well as empty chasm and that feeling is a very painful one to experience.

Experts and others offering advice on how to deal with loneliness will often tell you to look at the heartening aspects of loneliness and would suggest that you should consider yourself as your best pal and confidant. That is a very good suggestion and some of us do find that on certain days, being lonely is not an issue at all. After all, everybody requires space and time to reflect on the day gone by and that can only be done when you can just come home and relax all by yourself without having to bother about anybody else. There is indeed a lot of enjoyment in being able to read a book or watch a movie without any interruptions. However, that is not everything in life and there is more to life than just keeping to yourself every day. Man is a social animal and loneliness beyond a point can become a curse.

It is not my intention here to suggest that you should find a suitable hobby such that you are occupied as my assumption is that if you have managed to reach here using the search engine, you would be well aware of all these obvious diversions. It may be that despite having cultivated a hobby or joined some interest group, you are still feeling lonely. Maybe you are in a relationship with someone or living together and yet not feeling happy. Loneliness is something that can afflict anybody at any time regardless of the situation.

Yes it is not unusual to feel lonely at times and during these times it would appear as if every other person is conspiring against you. News channels beamed through cable television also seem to be thriving on showing only misery and you begin to wonder at such times whether there is any scope for things to get better and what is your role in the entire scheme of things. It is not unusual either to become philosophical and wonder at the purpose of life. All of a sudden you want reassurance and companionship or somebody to just tell you things will be okay and that you are not alone in all of this. You want the confirmation that you are well understood.

Given below are some suggestions on how to tackle loneliness. These have been tried by others with success and there is no reason why you too cannot benefit from them.

a) Recognize that this too shall pass
Appreciate that loneliness is an emotional response and is sure to pass off with time. It is not something that you are stuck with and for many it can get mitigated with just a good night’s sleep and for others it can be as easy as just listening to a good joke. Indeed laughter is the best medicine and it is no wonder that doctors regularly advise you to look at the positive side of things and remain in good humor whenever you can. However if you are feeling lonely due to a calamity or tragedy in your family or a setback in your career, then you need to reassure yourself that this too shall pass with time and time is indeed the greatest healer. You can also take heart from the fact that you feeling the way you do is absolutely normal and there is nothing to feel bad about it.

b) There are others like you as well
The fact that you are not the only one feeling this way may not help you much but at least you will feel better that there are others who also feel in the same manner. Sometimes just knowing that there are many others who also experience such bouts of loneliness and go through exactly what you are going through may help a great deal and can actually mitigate the feeling of loneliness to a certain extent.

c) Know that you are loved
One of the sad aspects of loneliness is that you start imagining things that are not true. You begin to feel victimized and start to feel unwanted without any apparent reason. The feeling gains intensity as you sink more and more into depression and that develops into a vicious cycle from which you will find it tough to get out as time progresses. The fact is that you have got to believe you are wanted by everybody and you do have many who care for you and wish only the best things for you.

d) You are as important as the person next to you
It is essential to believe that you are in this planet with a purpose and role. Whatever you do on a daily basis such as listening to somebody sharing his or her worries, opening a door open for somebody who is carrying something heavy and therefore cannot do it himself or even just smiling at an old lady as you get into the bus are all things that make an impact. These may appear to be pretty ordinary to you but believe me, it means a lot to the person who is receiving these good gestures. You need not be the President of the United States Of America to make a difference to the world or to feel important. Even a simple act like helping a bumblebee to break free would mean that you have contributed to making things better for a living thing and that is something you can be happy about.

e) Be jovial and laugh whenever you can
Having a good sense of humor and seeing the lighter side of things is another way of breaking boredom, loneliness and depression. I am suggesting some links here that you could visit and that is sure to perk you up when you are really feeling down and out.