Break-ups are difficult to deal with and it is quite a tall order to deal with the absence of a loved one and then having to rebuild your life and change for the better. But it is something that’s just got to be done. Now, in these times, when Facebook has become such an intrinsic part of our lives, it can either help to recover from a break up or can cause further distress. Here is a list of five mistakes that you must try to avoid making on Facebook after an emotional breakup.
1. Advertising the Break-up
It wouldn’t be a good idea advertising your changed relationship status immediately after a break-up. Dealing with the comments following the status, the inquisitiveness and the curiosity could be difficult. Also, if the break up lasted for just a couple of days it might get all the more embarrassing for you to change the status again. Moreover, there would be way too many updates on either of your statuses for your own comfort. The best way to do this is to remove the relationship status subtly and avoiding updates on everyone’s news feed. If anybody wishes to see it they could do so on their own accord.
2. Abuse of Status
It is important to avoid venting out your anger and bashing your ex through your status messages especially because Facebook is a public forum. You might want to protect your dignity and prevent yourself from losing your respect before friends. Also, it could spoil any future hope of regaining the friendship with your ex. Your status messages should be more about your hobbies and family and other related activities but barring anything related to your ex. This will also give your friends the assurance that you are being optimistic and mature in handling this loss and are essentially recovering.
3. Photo Spamming
It is not a good idea to be on an uploading frenzy of your new social life post breakup. You don’t want to be seen in random photos with random people just to prove how much fun you are having after your break up. There is no good in trying to show what your ex is missing. There are risks that you might be found in compromising photographs and lose respect. It is alright to post some pictures of what you have been up to but not those that cross boundaries of respectability.
4. Rebounding on Facebook
There are chances that old flames and good looking high school friends and other strangers may appear to be suddenly interested in you just because you are suddenly ‘available’. Even for your sake you must avoid making yourself available to any potential partner just because you are seeking to fill the recent emptiness in your life. It will only raise suspicions and also hinder you from taking time out for yourself. It is important to give yourself enough time to heal and allow time with yourself doing things you have always loved to do. Facebook could be used to reconnect with old friends and acquaintances you had lost in touch with and utilise it to rebuild your personal social network.
5. Stalking your Ex
Stalking your ex, if he or she is your friend on Facebook, only worsens your chances of moving on in life. Whenever the temptation arises you find yourself going through old photographs and conversations that you had with one another. You must stop this as it will only create baggage and prevent you from healing yourself. If you see that your ex is quite well in your absence even before you can do the same, it shall cause further pain. So just allow yourself to let go and if required remove him or her from your list or simply block the person. That would be a start to the process of moving on into a better and new you.
For many, the best solution is to be off Facebook for a while if it becomes difficult to avoid the five things above. It might be a better idea to rebuild the real life and its networks rather than the virtual one.