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Speak no evil. You say something that you believe is totally inoffensive only to find that you’ve offended them. You need to use the right word at the right time, else it may result you re-enacting the fight sequence of 300, and dying a horrifying death, as Wombat loves to put it.

Here are some harmless words, but are downright catastrophic - based on my real life experiences.

“RELAX”
It might seem legitimate to say this to a woman who has lost her nerves, but it’s a moronic thing to say. You’re suggesting that there’s no reason to be upset, but in reality, you’re faulting her of being loony. Instead, just be sympathetic, and say something like, “Let’s deal with it together.”

“I LOVE YOU” (during a fight)
In films, the words “I Love You” is commonly uttered at the right moment, but, in real life, I think a woman hears these words the most during an argument when she desperately wants to get to the heart of the matter, and when men wanna stop this hokum. Merely expressing the existence of your love isn’t going to make everything swell. You can however, say these words at the end, just not at the beginning of a fight.

“UP TO YOU”
Where to eat, where to go for a holiday, what to do? Decisions decisions. For men, we think making decisions is like work without pay, so we say “Up to you” and then get mauled Itchy & Scratchy style. For women, it’s like window-shopping for possibilities. Instead, say something like, “A or B would be good, but I’m not too keen about C, what do you think?”

SILENCE
At times, you may be apprehensive of saying the wrong thing, so you keep your mouth shut. Don’t! It’s like playing football, if you’re the only one on the team, you pass the ball to yourself, with no team player - can you manage? That’s how women feel, so, say something, keep yourself in the game. After all, she’s your team mate.

The all time classic one-liners. These are the three dating secrets that all girls love to hear. By saying any of these you will be sure to defuse the situation and make her far more rational and loving.

“Tell me the whole story.” Girls become angry at the thought of not being able to tell their side of the tale. By giving her free reign to talk, she will automatically start to calm down. Additionally, she will start thinking as she is talking “is this part really important?” and “do I really want to tell him this bit? And the story will become a lot shorter.

“You are just so gorgeous.” This must be said in a very genuine sounding way, and as if you have just that second been blinded by her beauty. From a girl’s perspective, is probably better than saying “I love you” as an end to an argument.

“I’m sorry, it is my fault.” Or “I’m sorry, you were right.” Hard words to say, but there is nothing more of a turn on to a woman than a man who is prepared to admit defeat on the strength of his love. Obviously, it probably wasn’t all your fault, and if so, then you should be receiving an apology as well. You may feel like you are losing face by saying sorry, but in reality you are gaining enormous amounts of respect.

You can win the war of the words. Use this guide to dating to keep the love and romance. By using these relationship tips you will be able to defuse any argument and keep your love.



To the women, have I missed out on any other words?