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Old 10-05-2007, 09:37 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Join Date: Apr 2007
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Location: Woodlands
Total SGC$: 2,176.06
Light Bulb WAYS TO TURN MEN DOWN

Man: "Haven't we met before?"
Woman: "Yes, I'm the receptionist at the V.D. Clinic."

Man: "Haven't I seen you someplace before?"
Woman: "Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore."

Man: "Is this seat empty?"
Woman: "Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down."

Man: "So, wanna go back to my place?"
Woman: "Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?"

Man: "Your place or mine?"
Woman: "Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine."

Man: "I'd like to call you. What's your number?"
Woman: "It's in the phone book."

Man: "But I don't know your name."
Woman: "That's in the phone book too."

Man: "So what do you do for a living?"
Woman: "I'm a female impersonator."

Man: "What sign were you born under?"
Woman: "No Parking."

Man: "Hey, baby, what's your sign?"
Woman: "Do not Enter" (or) "Stop."

Man: "How do you like your eggs in the morning?"
Woman: "Unfertilized!"

Man: "I know how to please a woman."
Woman: "Then please leave me alone."

Man: "I want to give myself to you."
Woman: "Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts."

Man: "I can tell that you want me."
Woman: "Ohhhh. You're so right. I want you...to leave."

Man: "If I could see you naked, I'd die happy."
Woman: "Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing."

Man: "Hey cutie, how 'bout you and I hitting the hot spots?"
Woman: "Sorry, I don't date outside my species."

Man: "May I see you pretty soon?"
Woman: "Why? Don't you think I'm pretty now?"

Man: "Your body is like a temple."
Woman: "Sorry, there are no services today."

Man: "I'd go through anything for you."
Woman: "Good! Let's start with your bank account."

Man: "I would go to the end of the world for you."
Woman: "Yes, but would you stay there?"

HIM: Can I buy you a drink?
HER: Actually I'd rather have the money.

HIM: I'm a photographer. I've been looking for a face like yours .
HER: I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like yours.

HIM: Hi. Didn't we go on a date once? Or was it twice?
HER: Must've been once. I never make the same mistake twice.

HIM: How did you get to be so beautiful?
HER: I must've been given your share.

HIM: Will you go out with me this Saturday?
HER: Sorry. I'm having a headache this weekend.

HIM: Your face must turn a few heads.
HER: And your face must turn a few stomachs.

HIM: Go on, don't be shy. Ask me out.
HER: Okay, get out.

HIM: I think I could make you very happy.
HER: Why? Are you leaving?

HIM: What would you say if I asked you to marry me?
HER: Nothing. I can't talk and laugh at the same time.

HIM: Can I have your name?
HER: Why? Don't you already have one?

HIM: Shall we go see a movie?
SHE: I've already seen it.

HIM: Where have you been all my life?
HER: Hiding from you.

HIM: Where have you been all my life?
HER: Where I'll be the rest of your life? - in your wildest dreams.


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