ONLY 2, BOY DOESN'T KNOW
THIS MAN IS NOT HIS REAL PAPA
Thai mum gave up baby after birth as she didn't want him
S'porean dad brought him back, but died before adoption process is final
Now, his caregivers want to adopt him, but worry about money problems
By Tan Mae Lynn
November 06, 2006
HE is just two years old but this toddler has gone through a lot.
The love child of a Singapore man and a Thai woman, the little boy was abandoned by his mother three months after his birth.
Since then, he has flown from one country to another, and his care has changed hands three times.
Now, Baby Chai (not his real name) clings to his current caregivers, Mr and Mrs Sim, friends of his father.
--Mohd Ishak
They are mum and dad to him.
We are not identifying him, as his custody will have to be determined by the court.
Baby Chai doesn't know that his real dad is dead. The body of the 50-year-old was found at the foot of an HDB block about two weeks ago.
IN THE DARK
And the boy doesn't know his real mum, who would be 37 now, rejected him.
Baby Chai was conceived in Thailand. His father, Mr Tan (not his real name), who was on holiday in Bangkok some three years ago, met his mother and had a short and steamy affair with her.
He returned to Singapore alone.
Several months later, the Thai woman called him out of the blue to tell him that she was pregnant.
She didn't want the child, and asked him to take the baby after birth.
Although the twice-divorced Mr Tan didn't know for sure that he was the father, he took her word for it and agreed to take care of the baby.
Three months after Baby Chai was born in April 2004, Mr Tan made a trip to Thailand and returned home with the child.
Once the baby was in his care, he took to the bubbly little boy with much fondness.
He didn't mind the bother of returning to the immigration authorities every month to have the baby's Thai passport stamped so that he could remain here.
But things changed and Mr Tan soon realised he could not cope with the responsibility of caring for the baby.
He then approached a trusted friend, Mrs Sim, to help look after the baby.
He gave her an allowance of $400 to $500 a month.
Mrs Sim said: 'Sometimes (the father) couldn't always afford to provide the money.
'But my husband and I didn't mind. We just tried to help as much as we can.'
The boy has been with the Sims since he was 8 months old, and calls them 'mummy' and 'papa'.
Baby Chai also has three playmates - Mrs Sim's daughters aged 8 to 15.
Once a week, Mrs Sim used to take Baby Chai to see Mr Tan.
And about once a month, the father would visit the boy at Mrs Sim's home.
But later on, Mr Tan moved in with an elder brother to help take care of their 95-year-old mother, and after that, Baby Chai didn't get to see his father so often.
Baby Chai is such a big part of the Sim family that they even hired a maid to look after him properly.
Now that the boy's father is dead, they are concerned about his future and would like to legally adopt him.
Mr Tan had, before his death, started the legal process to officially adopt the boy, but tragedy made the boy a virtual orphan before the adoption could be completed.
(See report on page 4.)
Mrs Sim said she would like to be able to get in touch with the boy's mother and discuss the matter with her.
But the problem is, they do not know how to contact her.
Before his death, they said Mr Tan had also lamented that he had only her telephone number and that has been disconnected now.
Mrs Sim, 36, said: 'If his natural mother cannot support him in Thailand, it's not a good idea for him to go back to Thailand.
'We have to think of his welfare first.'
Mr Sim, who works as a driver, added: 'If we can adopt him, that would be best because he's been with us for quite a while. We're all very attached to him.'
Mrs Sim said: 'Sometimes, (the boy) won't go to sleep unless my husband is around and pats him to sleep.'
The couple have a combined income of about $2,500 and live in a four-room flat in Hougang.
Mrs Sim, who works as a private tutor to primary school children, said: 'We'll cope as we have all this while. We've been able to manage so far, I think we'll be okay.
'(Baby Chai) is a member of our family. My children love him, they want him to continue staying with us.'
When we visited him at home, Baby Chai was playing happily with one of couple's nephews, who was about the same age as him.
He was initially shy, but soon warmed to us.
When we asked him where 'mummy' was, he turned to look at Mrs Sim.
He appeared attached to the couple, and was ever-willing to give them bear hugs.
Other than his Thai passport, there is nothing that would make the boy stand out in the family.
He speaks English and some Mandarin and looks like the other children he plays with in the neighbourhood.
It looks like a happy home for now but Baby Chai's fate still hangs in the balance.
A social worker from Trans Centre, an agency accredited by the Ministry of Community Development, Youth and Sports, has contacted the Sims and are discussing care plans for the child.
A spokesman for the ministry said that if they wish to adopt the child, the social worker would help them with the necessary procedures to safeguard the interests of the child and the adopting family.
A spokesman for the Immigration and Checkpoints Authority also said that the father's relatives can submit an application to extend the boy's stay in Singapore, pending any legal adoption plans.
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to be continued....
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